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Reports

DeLay’s New Career: Comedian

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Posted on Mar 22, 2007

By Marie Cocco

WASHINGTON—At one time or another, most journalists come to understand that they will not be the next Woodward or Bernstein. They are not likely to help bring down a president or, for that matter, even a county commissioner.

The joy of journalism in these days of newsroom layoffs, shrunken budgets and sophisticated political spin lies more often than not in a simple truth: Politicians say the darndest things.

They are, as a group, funnier than just about anyone but professional comedians. They make us giddy with their tortured locutions—Ronald Reagan saying that trees cause pollution and Bill Clinton’s parsing of the meaning of “is” are among the all-time hits. Still, few politicians have a record of hilarity as consistent as Tom DeLay’s.

Less than a year after he left Congress in disgrace, having been indicted for campaign-finance chicanery and with a bevy of ex-aides and cronies already found guilty, the former House Republican leader is back to his routine. This time, instead of taking to the House floor to declare that the Columbine High School shootings were the obvious outgrowth of working mothers who use birth control and the teaching of evolution (not necessarily in that order), DeLay has put his deepest thoughts into print.

The result is his new book, “No Retreat, No Surrender”—a title which, NBC’s Meredith Vieira pointed out—is inconsistent with DeLay’s own relinquishing of his Texas congressional seat. But why quibble? DeLay has produced a work that, if nothing else, gives him money to pay his legal bills and gives us a chance to marvel at the peculiar combination of ego and delusion that drives him and others who honor us with their leadership.

Early on, he effectively repeals the Constitution’s prohibition against state-sponsored religion. “Because there is a God who has spoken, issues like marriage, abortion, homosexuality and the death penalty are not matters of opinion,” he writes. “They are matters of revelation. There are moral absolutes and public policy should be built upon them.”

This segues, somehow, into DeLay’s recounting of his own history of drunken carousing and serial adultery while a member of the Texas Legislature. This period, we learn, ended when DeLay found redemption through prayer—and, it must be surmised, came to a deeper understanding of how his survival in conservative politics depended upon cleaning up his act. If nothing else, it all was the necessary prerequisite to DeLay becoming the driving political force behind Clinton’s impeachment for lying about adultery.

DeLay is at his comedic best when describing the Clinton imbroglio as a crisis forced upon him. “Though I certainly understood a man’s sexual temptations, I was disgusted by the sordid details. ... I just hoped the whole thing would go away.”

So, of course, did most other Republicans on Capitol Hill at the time. Many were stunned by prosecutor Kenneth Starr’s impeachment report—not because it revealed high crimes and misdemeanors, but because it amounted to steamy sex talk. The consensus was to censure Clinton, not impeach him. It was DeLay who insisted on provoking the constitutional showdown and DeLay who muscled wavering Republican moderates into voting for impeachment.

You could fill a whole book with DeLay’s amusing flights of fancy. He states, for example, that Iraq is “a war that every Democrat voted for.” In fact, 126 House Democrats—a majority of the party’s caucus—and 21 Democratic senators voted against it.

But why expose its fictions when the truth of DeLay’s memoir is so much more revealing?

We’ve always known DeLay cannot bring himself to utter a kind word about any Democrat. In the book, he turns his rhetorical knife against fellow Republican leaders Newt Gingrich and Dick Armey—whose own overblown ambitions and political incompetence, DeLay argues, brought on the beginning of the end of the Republican “revolution” in Congress.

For all the gossipy detail and self-righteous strutting that makes DeLay’s book such a laugh, something besides a conscience is absent from it: The American public.

In telling the story of a political career that spanned nearly three decades, DeLay almost never mentions a voter or a constituent. He does not consider whether, perhaps, Clinton’s victory in the government shutdowns of 1995 and the ex-president’s continued popularity is rooted in the people’s preference for at least some Democratic policies.

DeLay’s self-portrait is of a man consumed with strategy and self-preservation. And so it’s a must-read for all politicians, in both parties. 

Marie Cocco’s e-mail address is mariecocco(at symbol)washpost.com.

(c) 2007, Washington Post Writers Group

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By anonymous, March 27, 2007 at 7:04 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

obviously, he thinks the coast is clear and he can come out and hustle up a book on comedic irony (like the title for starters). the man is in the grips of desperation.

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By William Hambaugh, March 26, 2007 at 4:32 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Heyyyyy outraged.......#60234
Your comment IS pretty profound man. I had to go back and look at it several times. So simple yet so heavy duty.
Will

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By rowdy, March 25, 2007 at 9:06 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

why are you giving this fool more free publicity? ignore him, he will eventually die the appropriate death of obscurity.

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By P.G. STAFF, March 25, 2007 at 5:24 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

BEST PLACE FOR DELAY IS JAIL.

HE IS NOT FUNNY. HE IS STILL A DANGER. 

g.w. NEVER FORGETS IS FRIENDS NO MATTER

HOW WRONG OR CROOKED THEY ARE.

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By FrostedFlakes, March 24, 2007 at 3:21 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Tom Delay should already be in prison. Thank God the American populace finally awoke and realized that this man was attempting to destroy the very institution that he somehow won election to. Also I am so sick of these fake christians qouting Scriptures, while they lead a life of ill repute. Tom Delay is no comedian, he is a criminal.

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By outraged, March 24, 2007 at 1:19 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

A nation of sheep
Led by whores
Owned by wolves

Report this

By SANDRA BUNKER, March 23, 2007 at 9:45 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Were there ever criminal charges brought against Tom DeLay?

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By Dale Headley, March 23, 2007 at 4:08 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Maybe I don’t have the great sense of humor I thought I had.  I don’t find anything funny about Tom DeLay.  Perhaps his cruel, self-serving, machinations now seem amusing to some; but all I can think about is how closely he came to destroying American democracy.

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By john, March 23, 2007 at 10:53 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

Check out “The Big Buy: Tom DeLay’s Stolen Congress”
plot: “A look at the criminal investigation of Texas Congressman Tom DeLay on campaign fund-raising charges and his efforts to redraw the state’s Congressional districts.”

this documentary exposes delay as a maniacal, sinsiter, evil human being who should never be taken seriously again!

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By L.A. Piltz, March 23, 2007 at 8:03 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

Hot Tub Tom is still in hot water in Austin, Texas, as Travis County District Attorney Ronnie Earle (God bless’m) is still pressing his felony criminal cases against him.

Stay tuned.

And truly, yes, Tom, go to a meeting.  It can do wonders for the otherwise incorrigible self-deceiver.  It will be a huge relief for you - not to mention the rest of us!

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By moonman, March 23, 2007 at 6:50 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

If “Cut & Run” applies to anyone it certainly applies to DeLay. He lacked the simple courage to face the voters in Sugarland. He could have put his philosophy, beliefs and brand of politics to an up-or-down vote. He didn’t of course. To these guys what democracy stands for and what the public thinks just doesn’t matter. To paraphrase a quote, “they hate our way of life.”

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By jds, March 23, 2007 at 12:42 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

tom delay is the embodiment of that rather unpleasant object that keeps reappearing in the toilet bowl, no matter how many times it is flushed.  the man lives and breathes by the grace of bad plumbing.

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By Bill Hickman, March 22, 2007 at 10:02 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Delay is nothing more than the typical right wing republican evangelical christian liar and hypocrite as well as a shameless thief. If there was with a god and an after life, this miserable bastard would have a lot to worry about!central45

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By Bob Zimmerman, March 22, 2007 at 7:15 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

I keep wondering why the Cable TV folks keep inviting this creep back on to shill his book.  This is a guy who should be in jail. But at least he represents the “values” of the Bush Administration and his fellow sleezebags - Cheney, Rove, Gonzales, and Bush II.

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By moe, March 22, 2007 at 6:44 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

RE#59945 MANNY.....YOU ARE SO RIGHT...THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT TEXAS IS THE BANKRUPCY LAWS,,I KNOW , I’VE BEEN STRANDED HERE FOR 20 YEARS....BUSH AND HARKIN OIL, WITH THE HELP OF ARAB MONEY, MADE HIM RICH AND PRESIDENT ....THIS IS SAD .  WE REALLY ARE STUPID.....WHERE IS TRUMAN WHEN WE NEED HIM ????

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By DennisD, March 22, 2007 at 5:53 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

This being America, I think, there is no such thing as “disgrace” in our country. Only book deals, infomercials and talk shows for those temporarily fallen from favor. Disgrace and truth were seen leaving the District of Corruption eons ago never to return.

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By jeffrey, March 22, 2007 at 5:48 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

why oh why.. do we still have to hear from people like this? can’t wwe simply be glad they are gone and continue worrying about the ones that are left?won’t they just go away,,do they not realize the damage they have caused?  Meglomaniacts we do not need!

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By BeeCee, March 22, 2007 at 5:22 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

The problem with born agains is that they are twice as bad the second time around.

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By William, March 22, 2007 at 5:22 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Delay personifies the profile of the “antisocial” personality.  To the lay person the term most understood is “sociopath”.  Lack of conscience, narcissistic, compulsive lying, manipulative of others for personal gain, inability to show empathy, thievery, sadistic, grandiose… I could go on. He has evinced all the above characteristics. As a matter of fact, he appears to be proud to possess these personality preferences.  For people of the Christian faith he should be particularly offensive.  Claiming to be born again “in the blood of Christ” and state that the “Lord works through me”.  Then advocate slave labor on Sipan and other Islands in that area and working with Abramoff to make sure those slaves have no rights or even come close to the protections of the laborers in the U.S. (or the rights we use to have before the right wing interviened). It has also been reported the female slave laborers’ were forced to have abortions. All reportedly with his knowledge.
Anyway, this “born again” individual has taken the Lord’s name in vein. Using God for personal gain.  He is the epitomy of evil. He is the blister on the ass of humanity.  He has the compassion of the NAZI SS. 
Here’s hoping he is convicted and will serve his time in the same cell with “Bubba” and is not allowed to have “soap on a rope”.
Will

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By toc, March 22, 2007 at 3:02 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Was there ever a more loathsome character than this guy. The drunken adultery fits in with the the bully profile perfectly.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he has the little penis/impotency syndrome as well.

Report this

By manny, March 22, 2007 at 2:16 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Tom Delay reflects what Texas is: A backward state. A state that has given us two Presidents that got us into a war. Two major economical national melt downs. A state goverment and judicial system that is an embarrassment to the rest the of the nation. A stare with a third world educational and medical system. A state that has more illegal immigrants then American registered voters. Yes, friends there are Delays in every community of this great state of Texas.

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By Ann Marie, March 22, 2007 at 1:42 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Delay frightens me; his maniacal control over the House and K Street nearly created an oligarchy of simple minds. The quote from his book “Because there is a God who has spoken, issues like marriage, abortion, homosexuality and the death penalty are not matters of opinion” should frighten all of America. While Delay whipped up America with trivial problems such as same sex marriage, he covered up his own involvement in unfair and demeaning labor practices. The American public needs to hear about the treatment of textile workers in the Mariana Islands and how Delay helped to keep this slave labor camp going. Please don’t let him back in to politics.

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By Ace Armstrong, March 22, 2007 at 12:59 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Over the past weekend in an intreview with PBS’s Steve Inskeep, Mr. Delay claimed to have stopped drinking alcohol in the mid-eighties. After inquiry by Inskeep as to whether he ever contemplated his own alcohol consumption in light of his father’s alcoholism, ‘The Hammer’ replied that he was not an alcoholic and had not touched ‘hard liquor’ since the mid-eighties.
Sounds like an alcoholic in denial that differentiates between ‘hard liquor’ and beer and wine.
No surprise the MSM is shilling a book published by corporate giant Penguin Group (USA). It’s part of the rewards program for sucking up to the power elite.
If you want to contribute to Tom’s defense fund, buy the book. 
If you want to exam the political machination of subververting a compliant democracy, go no further that the German elections of 1933. Asute political maneuvering is not resticted to any particular position. It’s only when the asute migrates to the unscrupulous problems arise.

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By Quy Tran, March 22, 2007 at 10:22 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

Hey, Mr. Delay, you’re still lucky when avoid being sentenced as a criminal. So just keep your mouth shut closely for ever because the more you’re trying to come back the worst you’ll be.

Report this

By whiteHackel, March 22, 2007 at 8:52 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

I was quite shocked to see this guys mug appearing on national television. Um-Bow-Weave-A-Bull!

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By GW=MCHammered, March 22, 2007 at 8:33 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

“...the peculiar combination of ego and delusion that drives him and others who honor us with their leadership.”

Sums up perfectly this Administration. Thank you Marie Cocco for your writing expertise and TruthDig for NOT posting DeLay’s picture with this piece. Corporate soulless plastic products surround me enough. What’s needed now is serious intellection for constructing a governing system that filters these envenomed variants and proffers true liberty, prosperity and posterity for every American then sincerely esteems a GROWING number of allies. Alienation is no way to build a nation.

“Economic Globalization will never democratize Der Fuhrer. Make politicians do the hard work of Globalizing Education first and fair, competitive economies will follow.”

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By C Quil, March 22, 2007 at 8:30 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

I never bought the “Prodigal Son” story, no matter who was peddling it.

Reminds me of six-times-divorced people who set themselves up as marriage counsellors. The only thing they’re expert at, obviously, is divorce.

How about electing people who’ve never been crooks and sleazebags? There are lots of them.

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By moe, March 22, 2007 at 6:43 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

DELAY SHOULD HAVE STUCK WITH HIS FIRST JOB AS A COCKROACH KILLER . YOU DON’T NEED MUCH BOOK LEARNIN’ FOR THAT THERE JOB..IF HE EVER NEEDED ANY KNOWLEDGE HE COULD ALWAYS HAVE KNOW IT ALL SEAN HANNITY HELP HIM. THE SAME HANNITY THAT WORKED HIS WAY THROUGH COLLEGE----CLEAR THOUGH WITHOUT A DEGREE’’’WHAT A PHONY..

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By David Newell, March 22, 2007 at 6:34 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

It’s amazing, isn’t it, that when they go down in flames they just keep insisting that they aren’t on fire.

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By gimmesometruth, March 22, 2007 at 5:40 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

Well-put.

Delay’s (and the same is true of Bush & many of his demeted tribe) utter obliviousness to himself and to reality, to social expectations, his total dependency on idiotically parroted clichés, his lack of self-irony:

all are reminiscent of Eichmann on the gallows.

Hannah Arendt quoted Eichmann saying:

“After a short while, gentlemen, we shall all meet again. Such is the fate of all men. Long live Germany, long live Argentina, long live Austria. I shall not forget them.”

She then comments:

“In the face of death, he had found the cliché used in funeral oratory. Under the gallows, his memory played him the last trick; he was ‘elated’ and he forgot that this was his own funeral.”

Report this

By Phil Latham, March 22, 2007 at 5:10 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

Must read, indeed! Not only for politicians but for everyone who wants to understand the psychopathology that is the basis of neoconsevatism. Delay should be answering questions not on the Today Show set, but in federal court.

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By Wayne Smyer, March 22, 2007 at 4:28 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

Why has Tom DeLay not been prosecuted for his involvement with Jack Abramoff and the theft of
the SunCruz Casino Ships and the murder of Gus Boulis?? Why has Alberto “Alfredo” Gonzalez refused to file a “RICO” case on the Boulis murder?
Lwayno

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By William Stamps, March 22, 2007 at 4:01 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

A must read? I’ll take your word for it. I’m not giving a penny to Tom Deluded for his arrogant and foolish book.

And Tom, go to a meeting.

w.s.stamps

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By mark, March 22, 2007 at 2:59 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

“Because there is a God who has spoken, issues like marriage, abortion, homosexuality and the death penalty are not matters of opinion,” he writes. “They are matters of revelation. There are moral absolutes and public policy should be built upon them.”

god spoke about things like slavery too - it was fine by him/her/it.

so where is my slave?

lots of ‘christians ‘ should be stoned to death .

If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife, both the man and the woman must be put to death. (Leviticus 20:10 NLT)

and a definition of adultry -

Remarriage is Adultery

Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and the one who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery. (Luke 16:18 NAB)

NOW WHERE IS MY STONE COLLECTION?

the christian right is neither.

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By John F. Butterfield, March 22, 2007 at 1:43 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

I have a better idea. Let’s boycott this book.

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By 127001, March 22, 2007 at 1:32 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

Has anyone noticed we have quite a few polticians with some extremely serious psychological and emotional problems. I’m talking serious! DSM diagnosis here!

At all levels.

They gotta get outta office and go back on medication! In DeLay’s case, he needs his daily meds monitored.

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