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 Andy Borowitz: Bin Laden’s State of the Jihad Address Short on SpecificsPosted on Jan 26, 2007Al-Qaida terror mastermind Osama bin Laden delivered his annual State of the Jihad address last night and immediately faced criticism that the speech was short on specifics and little more than a laundry list of vague threats. Speaking from his cave in an undisclosed location in the mountainous region between Pakistan and Afghanistan, the world’s most wanted man began his address with an upbeat assessment of the global jihad against the infidels. “Friends, terrorists, extremists and madmen,” Mr. bin Laden began. “The state of the jihad is strong.” The al-Qaida leader’s 50-minute address was interrupted by applause at least 35 times, usually when Mr. bin Laden punctuated his remarks by saying, “Death to America.” Mr. bin Laden sounded themes that were familiar to audiences of previous State of the Jihad addresses, such as his warning that “al-Qaida must become less dependent on foreign sources of chaos.” Advertisement But the al-Qaida kingpin was in for some blistering criticism in the official response to the State of the Jihad address, which this year was delivered by opposition lunatic Hassan el-Medfaii. “What we heard tonight was little more than ‘stay the course,’ ” said Mr. el-Medfaii. “As a madman, I had to ask, ‘Where’s the beef?’ ” Elsewhere, Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., bowed out of the 2008 presidential race, stating, “I decided to run for president before I decided against it.”  Previous item: Truthdigger of the Week: Sen. Jim Webb Next item: Annie Nelson on the ‘Fuel That Doesn’t Kill Us’ New and Improved CommentsIf you have trouble leaving a comment, review this help page. Still having problems? Let us know. If you find yourself moderated, take a moment to review our comment policy. |
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By Tom, January 31, 2007 at 10:56 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
Vote early. Cast your vote on April 15th.
Report thisBy KANUEAR, January 31, 2007 at 2:14 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
it is going to be very interesting, if Bush and his cabinet are still walking the earth, to see the reaction of the people when it is truly realize that they were behind the world trade center bombing and are responsible for the death of over 3000 american soldiers and a countless number of innocent Iraqian civilians in a war of personal gain. I wonder if bush and his cabinet will be hunted and executed for there war crimes?
Report thisThere has only been two real invasions of this country. the first being the invaision of europeans upon the trust and blood of native americans and the invasion, if you want to refer to it as, between the northern and southern so called “civil war”. Take this into considerartion when you reflect on present day events.
By mizipi, January 29, 2007 at 5:16 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
Both State of the un-unions left this out (thanks to a “Sound Off” in my local paper)
Freedom and Terror
Report thisIs there anyway a person can find out how many terrorist attacks have taken place in countries that mind their own business, like Switzerland, Norway, Denmark? Some of those countries are more liberal than the United States and have freedoms. Bush says, “The terrorists hate countries that have freedoms.” Why are these countries not being terrorized when their people have freedoms to enjoy?
By Quy Tran, January 27, 2007 at 7:09 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
Buddy will never capture buddy. Both of them just play dirtiest trick to blind us. Damned it !
Report thisBy Polly Ester, January 27, 2007 at 4:56 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
Osama dragged his dialysis machine from his luxury suite at the Dubai hotel after an invigorating day at the spa, his expression was relaxed, his skin smooth and glistening as he stood on a platform at the hotels conference center eager to give his speech-the content of his talk was short and pithy, I just want to personally thank Cheney and Bush for their help in spreading terrorism throughout the world.
The invasion of Iraq and Afghanistan, in conjunction with the U.S. support of Israels action against Palestine and Lebanon has done more than al-Qaeda could ever possibly do to promote the Jihad movement. We know your next two years in office, will be equally successful, your plans to attack Iran, will surpass your previous six years in helping to incite global terrorism to grand new heights, thanks again George and DICK for all your help.
Report thisSincerely,
Osama Been Forgotten
By trantieungoc, January 27, 2007 at 12:00 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
Both State of Union addresses are in the same character = monotonous, nauseous, tedious, discourageous, ridiculous….
Report thisBy davr, January 27, 2007 at 1:55 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
The Bin Laden family are closest friends of the Bush family.
The Bin Laden family helped GW Bush get elected Governor of Texas and Selected President of the United States.
It is not in GW Bush or the Bush family or the Bush/Republicans best interests to kill or capture Usama Bin Laden.
It is much better for them to kill over 3000 United States troops (plus 15000 wounded), 600000 Iraqis and over 300 other nationalities
than it is to kill or capture one Bin Laden.
Not to mention blowing a trillion dollars, the good will of the world and our future security
Report this