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Reports

Satire From Andy Borowitz: Bush Twins Invade Iraq

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Posted on Dec 2, 2006

By Andy Borowitz

Just days after their hard-partying antics made headlines across Argentina, the twin daughters of President George W. Bush arrived in Iraq today, determined to continue celebrating their 25th birthday as only the Bush twins can.

After the American Embassy in Buenos Aires reportedly urged Barb and Jenna Bush to leave the country, many at the White House had hoped that the two spirited young women would “take it down a notch,” one insider said.  But those hopes were dashed today when their plane touched down at Baghdad International Airport and an exuberant Jenna Bush announced, “It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes!”

Declaring that they were on a search for “weapons of mass consumption,” Barbara and her sister set off on a night of adventures, accompanied by several nervous-looking Secret Service agents.

To this war-torn nation, the sight of the twin daughters of the U.S. president cruising through town, their car’s audio system blaring, raised more than a few eyebrows.

Within an hour of their arrival, the twins were summoned to meet with Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki, who reminded them that Baghdad remained under a strict curfew.

“Curfew?” Jenna reportedly replied. “Whatever!”

The Bush twins’ surprise visit has already had one unintended consequence, as Shiites and Sunnis in the usually fractious Iraqi parliament voted unanimously to expel them.

When told that they had managed to heal the decades-old rift between Iraq’s warring sects, Barbara offered a succinct assessment: “Like, mission accomplished!”

Elsewhere, wines from southwestern France and Sardinia have the highest concentration of complex compounds that may promote greater longevity, according to a study published today by Danny DeVito.

Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the new book “The Republican Playbook.”

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By Jon B, December 5, 2006 at 8:37 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

GIs kept dying in Iraq for Bush’s so called noble cause aka invasion on false pretense while his twins continue their partying in Iraq.

If there is a draft and if the twins are draft to Iraq’s frontline, then the war would be ended by Bush in no time.

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By Arun, December 4, 2006 at 3:41 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Bush family and U.S elites are not worth time wasting on. These are the most lowest category of people on earth can be.
They have been liars and will be liars all their life. It’s in the blood of the whole society. Otherwise what could be the reason they chose people like Bush and Cheney as their head of state.
Thank you Truth Dig.
Arun

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By James V, December 4, 2006 at 11:22 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

Well, on a positive note, I see this as perhaps the only opportunity for the Iraqi people to actually SEE any American dollars at work in their country.

Even if the twins did the trip BYO, perhaps some lucky Iraqi can pull off another purse heist and get the cash the two have on them!

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By Margaret Currey, December 4, 2006 at 10:15 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

I find it amazing that this Bush president run on being religious right and his daughters are not very modest, considering the Republicians tried to run Bill Clinton out of office for his sexual exploits, but his daughter was a very modest young lady, and she acted like a lady all the time.  Now these same republicians are going to smear their negative ads on Hilary Clinton, and she was a very respected first lady, of course you knew she was there unlike Laura, who is only allowed to speak when it comes to reelection things.  People might like Hilary but she is a very smart person, I do not think she should be labeled an Ice Person, just because Bushie Boy is a mugger for the camara, but his ability to speak good english is limited, makes one think what did he learn in college, if he really spent much time there.

Margaret from Vancouver, Washington

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By mickeyjay31, December 4, 2006 at 9:09 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

I hope America’s will remember these two as they mature and get drunker.  If they keep drinking and paying attention to no one, they could be the Republican Party’s nomination when they reach thirty-five.  Oh, by the by, the purse lost by one of the twins will probably be on E Bay by the end of the week.

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By barrelhse, December 3, 2006 at 7:09 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Missy, honey, look up “satire"- everything’s OK.

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By Missy, December 3, 2006 at 7:58 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

Is this article really true?  Has the “Visiting” of the Bush twins in Iraq and their behavior been validated, or is this sensationalizing journalism?  If this is true, this should be a “huge” embarrasement to the stuffy right-wingers.  What idiocy!  Do these young women not know the dangers and/or the implied mockery of their behavior?  Either these two are purely ignorant or they are as apathetic as the rest of the religous brainwashed mindless followers.  We are occupiers...there to enact our “imperialist” plan and extract their resources because we are gluttonous and immoral....damn...absolutely sickening.  Starving, suffering people who are being exposed to this....how far do we go until we realize just how inhumane we really are.  It’s time for America to revamp their energy policy and educated the masses.  I’m appaled.

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By Steve, December 3, 2006 at 1:11 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

I live in ARGENTINA and have it from the first hand source who picked it up, that the cellphone that young Ms Bush says was stolen from under her nose (and the watchful eyes of her keepers) in a Buenos Aires restaurant, was in fact dropped by her in the street.  Argentina being a hapless country that believes still in finders keepers can be blamed for the non-return of said phone (which now has been allegedly listed for sale on the local Ebay, incorrectly). But what is interesting is how ugly daughter has copied from even uglier father the same antics of lying when the truth would uncover her own inadequacies and stupidity !  So the whole country Argentina gets an eyeful from the world for a theft which never happened.  Next there’ll be a visit (god forbid) by the insipid Condasleeza Ricecake looking for WMD’S and urging greater support of Israel ! Ugh !!

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By Quy Tran, December 2, 2006 at 6:35 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

What do their parents think of these insolent daughters ?

They’re acting exactly like their father. The monarch family will go down to toilet because of these uneducated kids.

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By DOC, December 2, 2006 at 3:23 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Were They Sporting talior cut Flight Suits ???

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By Eleanore Kjellberg, December 2, 2006 at 3:21 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

And, maybe if, Britney Spears, joins the twins-- sans panties, of course the war will coming to a screeching halt. As Danny would say, bottoms-up!

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