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Molly Ivins: Thanks—No, SeriouslyPosted on Nov 22, 2006
By Molly Ivins AUSTIN, Texas—It’s time to give thanks, and I want to start off with a great, big thank you for the top American movement conservatives and all the fun we’ve had since Election Day. I know I promised not to gloat after this election was over, but I’m not talking unseemly gloating—I’m talking about moments so brilliantly hilarious the only option is to put your head down on the desk and howl. First in line is the wit of The National Review’s Kate O’Beirne, who clearly teamed up with Borat to explain the great conservative win. Her explanation is that this is a win for conservatism because a great many of the D’s elected are so conservative themselves. She says half of them are conservatives. She is indeed right. If only twice as many Democrats had been elected, it would have proved that there are twice as many conservatives in the country, and this is clear to any thinking person. We might challenge Ms. O’Beirne to explain how the next Republican win is a victory for liberalism. The reason that O’Beirne and others are able to accept such an absurdity is because they’ve been listening to George W. Bush for six years and are thus able to believe six impossible things before breakfast. Speaking of “thinking,” another great moment for conservatives this year was highlighted on the Nov. 16 edition of Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show.” Host Jon Stewart addressed a recent remark that CNN Headline News host Glenn Beck made to Rep.-elect Keith Ellison (D-Minn.), the first Muslim ever elected to Congress. Beck said, “I have been nervous about this interview with you because what I feel like saying is, ‘Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies.’ ” After airing Beck’s comment, Stewart declared, “Finally, a guy who says what people who aren’t thinking are thinking.”While the Washington press corps worried its pretty little head to a frazzle over Nancy Pelosi’s Armani suits and terrible start as speaker of the House (except she hasn’t started as speaker), they forgot to fret over Trent Lott, who had previously been bounced unceremoniously from the Senate leadership team to which the Republicans just reelected him. They seem to have forgotten that he had expressed the wish that Strom Thurmond, the segregationist candidate for president, had won in 1948. Thanks for the late Johnny Apple and the now retired Adam Clymer (who predicted a 28-seat sweep and the possibility of taking the Senate) for reminding us that The New York Times used to know how to cover politics. So, for that matter, did The Washington Post, now graced only by E.J. Dionne. Thanks for Cokie Roberts, who was the only alert citizen on television on election night. The others were either stalwart Republicans or John McCain worshipers. Thanks from a grateful nation for an obedient press corps that failed during Bush’s six-hour, carefully orchestrated visit to Indonesia to register the fact that there were massive demonstrations against his administration and its policies toward Muslims. The demonstrators during his short visit forced him to stay behind the presidential palace wall all day and—due to concerns for his safety—not spend the night. So many of our media mavens have been so wrong for so long that we may yet see a mere modicum of becoming self-doubt from our professional pontificators. And think how thankful we’d all be for that. Their sources, led by Karl Rove, have had them eating Pablum out of their hands for years now. Nope. No hope. Previous item: Joe Conason: Bush's Strange Vietnam Visit Next item: Andy Borowitz: A (Lame) Duck Spares a Turkey Elsewhere: . CommentsAre you a Truthdig member yet? Login now, or register with Truthdig. Add Your Comment
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By Cassandra, December 5, 2006 at 4:32 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
Everyone, please enjoy your “victory”. And now consider that anyone clever enough to bring down the WTC will not allow Congress to investigate. How will they stop Congress? Easy.
Before the next election, when it looks as though the next President will be a Democrat, suddenly Anthrax goes through the entire ventilating system of the House and Senate, when most are there. Suddenly, we have been “attacked by terrorists” (again), so, with Congress non-functioning, Bush declares a National Emergency, including (guess what?) Martial Law. The Republican Congress has already given him legislative approval to control ALL the State Militias under an Emergency. So he has the Army and the Militias under control, and guess who decides when the “Emergency” is over?
The groundwork has already been laid—the above law, plus the recent announcement that “the Anthrax in the previous attack wasn’t Military Grade”. So, don’t suspect the U.S. Military if it happens again.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you—- (signed) Cassandra
Report thisBy Lamonte, November 27, 2006 at 10:49 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
Molly wrote, “Thanks for Cokie Roberts, who was the only alert citizen on television on election night.” Cokie always has had a knack for stating the unmistakenly obvious.
Report thisBy Georgia Whitman, November 27, 2006 at 7:32 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
Thanks from a grateful nation for an obedient press corps that failed during Bushs six-hour, carefully orchestrated visit to Indonesia to register the fact that there were massive demonstrations against his administration and its policies toward Muslims.
That’s interesting… those demonstrations were broadcast and discussed on CNN in Europe. If Molly is talking about broadcast and not just print, then does this mean that CNN is just a propaganda channel like FOX? Hmmm…
http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/asiapcf/11/20/bush.asia.reut/index.html
Report thisBy Layne, November 26, 2006 at 5:21 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
Stop sending me updates. I get giddy thinking there are actually rational people who like Molly as much as I do!
Report thisBy felicity, November 26, 2006 at 3:12 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
I’m convinced that for the last six years there’s been some sort of secret Exchange Program going on between media and government. You send us one of yours and we’ll send you one of ours sorts of things. How else to explain this remarkable uniformity of message other than they’ve sat at the feet of the same propagandist and emerged with equally calcified brains.
Report thisBy mike doty, November 26, 2006 at 10:04 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
Molly, Thank you for another great article. May I please ask you to write one on the reinstatement of the FAIRNESS DOCTRINE and what that would mean to our current MSM. Please Molly help me enlighten the public on the necessity of the FAIRNESS DOCTRINE. Thanks..
Report thisBy Richard L. McCluskey, November 25, 2006 at 6:49 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
Molly, your thoughts and writings seem to always strike a harmonious chord with me. Each time I pick up the paper I search for your editorials first. I am constantly outraged by the shortsighted, selfseeking, murderous actions of “W” and his team.
Thank you for your refreshing points of view!!!
Report thisBy Carol Schmidt, November 25, 2006 at 6:32 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
Molly Ivins is right on the money. We have no press anymore in this country worthy of that name. It is very sad indeed that such a great country as ours could in just six short years become what it is today: a third world country with few if any freedoms.
Carol Schmidt
Report thisConcord, NC
By Citizen E, November 25, 2006 at 2:03 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
What I like best is the idea that the election was a victory for centrists. Now I am happily awaiting for the centrist plan for Iraq, global warming, health care, the tax code, etc. Of course, the canonization of Barry Goldwater has been good for some chuckles, and who can deny the outrage of Robert Novak and Dick Cheney (looking more and more like a sour version of Bagdhad Bob by the day) over the firing of Donald Rumsfeld. Still and all, I have to wonder when the Republicans were attributed the color red. It’s been a red menace ever since.
Report thisBy Spinoza, November 25, 2006 at 1:03 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
Some posters don’t understand:
Capitalist societies can never be democratic. This is why the only good capitalist is a dead capitalist. This is why revolution is the ONLY option.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7344181953466797353&q=media+duration:long
Report thisBy squidd, November 25, 2006 at 12:02 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
molly said it 2-3 years ago…
the ONLY positive on JUNORS’s 2004 re-instatement was - the chicken-killin-dog analogy - where - in Texas - they tie a dead chciken around the chicken-killin-dog’s neck - where it rots and stinks so bad - that damn dog is so damn miserable…
we’re going to get to watch JUNIOR stand by - now that the lights will be turned on - and see him squirm - just like he did Nov 8th (thumpin) - as we assess the damage boy-wonder-NOT has wrecked on our republic -
now georgie… why exactly did you start this war…?
Report thisBy Brzl Frbr, November 25, 2006 at 1:49 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
It’s so nice to read a political commentator whose head isn’t stuck where the sun shineth not.
Report thisBy Dennis NYC, November 25, 2006 at 12:07 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
Molly is God… God is Molly. Long live God!
Report thisBy Margaret Currey, November 24, 2006 at 4:53 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
Now that Bushie Boy got his comeupens in a foreign county when is he going to feel the wrath of the congress, really he and Chaney should be impeached, and what about the women who lost to a republician thanks to the no paper trail, electronic voting, smells like a rat in the woodwork.
But I will not gloat, just grateful that the people woke up and did not believe all that the president and vice president were saying.
Marge from Vancouver, Washington
Report thisBy Sandra McGee, November 24, 2006 at 4:25 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
I am just THANKFUL for you Molly - always putting a smile on my face whenever I read your articles. Thanks!!!
Report thisBy Mary Canuck, November 24, 2006 at 2:30 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
Canadians thank you too, Molly.
Report thisUnfortunately for us, in true Canadian style, we do what you Americans do, but usually 10 years later.
And sure enough - last year we elected Stephen Harper as our Prime Minister, (or GWB Light, as we call him!)
Harper’s “Conservative” party was elected for the same reason that your GWB and the Republicans were returned in 2000 - people were fed up with what they perceived as corruption.
Already we are living to regret that choice!
By John Hayes, November 24, 2006 at 1:46 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
Hmm, win they win, lose they win. Sounds like someone has imbibed too much of the product that corporate motivational speakers like to call “turning lemons into lemonade.” Or, is it sour grapes?
It is no secret that many Democratic politicians, through all of the party’s history, have been much to the right of center on many issues, including personal mores and religious convictions.
That is not something the Republican party can rightfully claim as an accomplishment. It never was of their doing.
Rather, it is proof that the Democratic (not “Democrat”) Party finds strength in diversity, is open minded enough to consider an even handed analysis of issues, problems, and solutions, and frankly tends to win more support in elections from the center and moderate conservatives than the Republicans win from the centrist Democrats, especially after the Republican incumbent and his cronies have caused so much mayhem throughout the nation and the world, resulting in a blatant loss of affection for America,and a decline of presitge and respect in the eyes of the world. The wretched huddled masses of our world and those hungering for libert, equality, magnanimity and justice formerly looked ot us as the best standard of how this is brought about in a changing and shifting world. Now? What do they expect—carpet bombing, secret detention through extraordinary renditions and torture? Our national currency is sinking fast, both financial and moral. Help Wonderpets! Save us!
Report thisBy Kay Lucas, November 24, 2006 at 12:21 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
Our Dear Beloved Molly,
Your bright intelligence, your insightful wit and prophetic wisdom are proof positive that it is possible for a Texas citizen to break out from the herd mentality. You are our prized and treasured Maverick, and we give thanks for your gift of words.
Keep shining your light into the dark places of our collective soul. Blessings.
Report thisBy Sonsa, November 24, 2006 at 11:41 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
Martin Weiss, how EVER does a mindset like yours survive MEXICO, Missouri?
It’s hard enough in this eastern beleaguered bastion of Democrats not to suffocate under the fundies and the Minions of Uncle Buck Bush and their def-industry squats.
And the Limbaughian aroma wafting up from the Cape! Ugh!
Report thisBy Jesus B. Ochoa, November 24, 2006 at 11:17 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
Hey, Molly babe, it is truly hard to be grateful for Cokie Roberts - bless you and be well.
Jesús B. Ochoa, El Paso, Texas
Report thisBy Marc McDonald, November 24, 2006 at 9:59 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
Do you miss the hard-hitting, investigative media we once had in this country? The media that carefully watched Clinton like a vulture and wouldn’t even let him get a haircut without doing an investigative series about it? (Never mind that “HairCutGate” was a fairy tale of a story with no basis in fact).
The media has snoozed through the past 6 years of Bush in power. The media has looked the other way while Bush systematically dismantled our nation’s Constitution and illegally launched wars of aggression against other countries.
Not to worry, though. With the Dems now back in power in Congress, we can expect the media to shake off the cobwebs and go back to its watchdog role of holding Democratic politicans’ feet to the fire (even if this “watchdog” role will consist of non-stories with no basis in fact: see Whitewater, etc.)
It’s great to live in a democracy with a free press. Someday I hope I have such an experience.
Marc McDonald
Report thisBeggarsCanBeChoosers.com
By gruaud_larose, November 24, 2006 at 12:15 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
I’m just thankful for people like Molly.
Keep swinging that hammer!
Report thisBy Anna, November 24, 2006 at 12:10 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
GLOATING OVER THE ELECTION - I couldn’t help but remember the 1955 World Series. Brooklyn Dodger fans could taste the victory but we showed restraint. The NY Yankees could not be sold short. But it wasn’t their year and one of the great world series went to the Dodgers. That’s how I felt on election day. Wouldn’t it be wonderful. But Republicans do as they’re told. Usually. Not this time. And so, another sweet victory and it is now safe to GLOAT.
Report thisBy Bob Leal, November 23, 2006 at 10:09 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
I love living in Austin, TX. I especially love the fact that marvelous Molly Ivins graces us with her presence here.
For the past six years, her’s was a little heard voice in the right wing controlled media wilderness.
Unfortunately, since most of the “talking heads” on TV still tilt to the right, we’ll probably have to endure two years of Republican hacks attacking Nancy Pelosi’s drapery selection and trying to convince themselvels they somehow “won” the midterm election.
So gloat-away fair Molly, gloat-away!
Report thisBy Adel, November 23, 2006 at 8:16 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
I am thankful for people like you with their
Report thisinsightfu humorous writings.
Love you Molly and wishing all the best
By Mad As Hell, November 23, 2006 at 8:04 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
But, but, but…
We all KNOW the media has a liberal bias and will show ANYTHING that makes the President look bad and nothing that will make him look good.
So that means Molly is wrong, right? WRONG!
Molly Ivins is a national treasure!
Report thisBy Chuck Garner, November 23, 2006 at 7:52 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
Molly, I can’t tell when my gloating has become unseemly - all I know is, it’s long overdue. So screw Carville and the rest of the greedheads who wanted a complete rout. If we work real hard, we can repeal HAVA, junk all electronic voting machines and finish the rout in ‘08. This is the best Thanksgiving we’ve had in a long time.
Report thisBy Layne, November 23, 2006 at 7:39 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
One other thing to be thankful for today, Molly, is that the annual presidential turkey pardon didn’t include the turk…uh…president himself…
Report thisBy Richard Rich, November 23, 2006 at 7:20 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
Thanks Molly. You are our treasure.
Report thisBy larry278, November 23, 2006 at 6:24 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
I wish to join the crowd of analinguists thanking you for your columns. I can’t remember when I started reading your column. My physician & shrink haven’t told me if it’s because of my lifelong crs or alzheimer’s. I’m worried about having the Bush Family syndrome of being born stupid & loosing ground every day one lives. It appears to be catching since GHW’s wife, Barbra, has it. The Bush Family syndrome is common among rich, old line, Yankee, ersatz patrician, WASP’s but has been reported to strike yanqui, gringos of the white trash persuasion.
Report thisThere are reports that the Bush Family syndrome is also an std. One of the things I learned was to never tell a blood relative to go get bread since a lot of us were gone for years getting breed & never did bring back bread. Before I lost track of my blood relatives I was told that I acted like I was the kind who never returned after they went away to breed. That sounded like an invitaion to get lost & I took it since it was the nicest thing my family did for [or to] me.
By ktony, November 23, 2006 at 4:55 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
I, too give thanks for Molly for helping us smile at the bleakest moments, even though sometimes they have obviously weighed heavily on her heart….for being a shining light in dark times. Hang in there Molly. We still have to keep an eye on them.
Report thisBy Jim Mamer, November 23, 2006 at 3:11 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
Speaking of giving thanks… Thanks to Molly Ivins for another year of commentary that often displaced dispair with laughter.
I am, however, puzzled by her contention that the Senate Rubublicans might have “forgotten” that Trent Lott had so recently revealed his previously semi-secret wish that Strom Thurmond had been elected President in 1948. I’m pretty sure that that is at least part of the reason he was chosen. I mean, isn’t nostalgia for good old “tradition” (i.e., segregation) at the heart of his southern conservativism?
Report thisBy martin weiss, November 23, 2006 at 3:00 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
Some of us still believe in the promise of America, in spite of the lies spread by this administration. We haven’t forgotten:
war for no reason is murder.
steel buildings don’t collapse from kerosene fires.
WTC 7 wasn’t struck, yet collapsed. why?
Where are the jet engines that supposedly crashed into the Pentagon?
torture is and was illegal.
lying to Congress is a felony.
the presidential oath is legally binding.
“Love One Another” wasn’t merely Jesus’ advice, it’s a universal law.
The ‘affluent ruling class’ isn’t merely a Maoist catch-phrase.
there’s nothing Bush can accuse anyone of that he hasn’t done himself.
“We, The People,” are supposed to be the government. We elect folks to represent us in D.C.
Government was designed to be our weapon against corporate control of our lives.
Food stamp use is up 75% since 2000.
Detroit has lost as many jobs in the last five years as during the great Depression.
Cutting six million dollars from New Orleans’ levee budget before Katrina cost us twelve billion dollars.
Bush has cut school lunches and funds for school security, along with veterans’ benefits, to defray the cost of Iraq.
Yet these lying, murdering, child-killing, veteran-disrespecting, rich guys persist in their theft of our future and our good name.
Their lies and crimes continue as if the election never happened.
They promised accountability,
yet they have not been held accountable for their actions.
Ironically, Bush’s tendency to strengthen our enemies and weaken our friends has turned out to be an illustration of what’s wrong with current leadership and policy, a perfect example of what not to do and how not to be a good American or a good Christian.
M. Weiss
Report thisMexico, MO
By Jim M. Slater, November 23, 2006 at 2:01 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
Go-Molly-Go !
There you go: Telling the truth again—and again—and Again!! It’s hard NOT to gloat after the sweeping Liberal win. . . Too bad ol’ George W. “DumbAss” is so slow on the up-take!!
Hang in there Molly, you’re a National Treasure!
Report thisJim Slater, Oak Point, Texas
By stevieray, November 23, 2006 at 1:08 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
Hey Glen you think the Kennedys are still working for the Vatican? Bet you do!!!!!!!!
Report thisBy Linda, November 23, 2006 at 12:24 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
We love you Molly.
Report thisI’m thankful for your voice.
By MARIAM RUSSELL, November 23, 2006 at 11:04 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
And Thank You, Molly for brightening my life for these 30 years or so, and helping with perspective.
Report thisBy Lambchops, November 23, 2006 at 10:10 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
Happy Thanksgiving Molly! And thanks for all the wonderfully delicious words that your pen wrote this past year! Psst, it’s okay to gloat especially on this day when most manage to eat too much and become bloated. Gloating is fat-free! Well, mostly.
Report thisBy James Charles, November 23, 2006 at 10:07 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
Bravo!
You’re one of the few Texans I’ve ever known who sees things as they are, and states truth with a finely-honed wit.
Happy Thanksgiving, Molly.
Report this