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May 22, 2013
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Ellen Goodman: Men Are From Mars, Women Want to ‘Make Things Better’Posted on Nov 22, 2006BOSTON—Allow me to use my grandmother-of-two voice. This is a bit more low key and benign than Nancy Pelosi’s famous “mother-of-five voice.’’ Toddlers and tryptophan tend to mellow me out. Nevertheless, during this holiday interregnum between the election and the installation of a new Congress, a grandmaternal word or two to the Democrats may be in order. There’s already been a surfeit of talk about the role of women in this election. Alas, this was not The Year of the Women Redux, although Speaker-elect Pelosi has broken the “marble ceiling’’ and has the bruises to show for it. Yes, there will be more women in Congress than ever before, but so far the percentage has only gone up from 15.4 to 16.4485981. Hold the applause. This was, however, the year women provided the Democratic margin of victory. If men had been the only voters in Missouri, Montana or Virginia, we’d have a Republican Senate. This is also the year in which women drove the agenda. Pollster Celinda Lake, who coined the terms “soccer mom’’ and “security mom,’’ hasn’t found the right moniker yet for women in 2006. She tries out two of them—“change moms’’ and “had-enough women’’—and then settles for an explanation: “Women solidified around change a year ago and didn’t budge.’’ Advertisement What most triggered men to get out and vote Democratic? A desire to “send a message to Bush.’’ The top vote-getting message for women was “let’s make things better for the next generation.’’ In less grandmotherly words, Lake says, “Men wanted to punch him in the nose and women wanted to make things better.’’ So if women drove the agenda, what will make things “better’‘? At the top of everyone’s mind is Iraq. But the commander is still in chief and Washington seems to be waiting for Godot, excuse me, James Baker, to come up with a magical solution. Beyond that, women voters aren’t asking for a debate about gays in the military or reinstituting a draft, thank you Charlie Rangel. Nor are they asking for an intramural party wrangle. Women worrying about a diminished future for the next generation are looking for a broad, overlapping domestic agenda. Some pieces can be found in the to-do list assembled for the Democrats’ “First 100 Hours’‘: raise the minimum wage, fix the Medicare prescription drug program, halve interest rates for student loans and bury the dead horse of Social Security privatization. If the new leaders make the deadline, they will offer something we haven’t had in a long time: hope. But still an appetizer. The post-election survey done by Ms. Magazine and the Women Donor Network showed surprisingly that a majority of women listed rebuilding after Katrina as a top priority for the next Congress. Katrina was a turning point for women who saw the government’s reaction as cold indifference. Katrina also became a stand-in for the issues of poverty and division. Women are more united than divided. They tend to see connections between people not unlike those—pumpkin or pecan pie eaters, octogenarians or toddlers—who assemble around their own family tables. No matter how much we read about the infamous mommy wars, women also concur on the need for help in balancing work and family. So for many, the biggest concern still is healthcare. As Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz of Florida, one of the new breed of young moms in Congress, says, “I don’t want the next generation of moms hand-wringing over how to deal with the sniffles and waiting until it turns into pneumonia.’’ It’s past time to make healthcare available to all kids. As for education, especially early education and child care? The desire to truly “leave no child behind’’ tops terrorism on the female list. And for women who share a family-table view of the world, economic security includes the increasingly elusive retirement security. Democrats won’t have much time to prove that the “sea change” on Capitol Hill changes enough. Nor does Speaker-elect Pelosi. The good news from one of the post-election surveys is that voters are three times more likely to see female politicians as trustworthy. The bad news is that only 21 percent of all voters see even female politicians as trustworthy. It’s been a long time since Americans have looked to the government with expectations. Now, we’re making a list. And checking it twice. Ellen Goodman’s e-mail address is ellengoodman@globe.com. Previous item: Marie Cocco: The USDA’s Awkward Timing Next item: Joe Conason: Bush’s Strange Vietnam Visit New and Improved CommentsIf you have trouble leaving a comment, review this help page. Still having problems? Let us know. If you find yourself moderated, take a moment to review our comment policy. |
By gogogeo, November 28, 2006 at 3:02 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
Spinoza, ignorance and the ability to perform to the lowest common denominator is not exclusive to men. Violence among women and girls is rising rapidly and in many cases, exceeding that of young men. So much for your “women will be better” statement.
Report thisBy Spinoza, November 28, 2006 at 11:40 am Link to this comment
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http://www.redefiningseduction.com/
Follow the links.
I think that in general woman will do better than men. I think when woman take an equal roll in sex we will be better off. As a general rule equality is best.
Joyous sex is related to the left (hippies etc) and rape is the ultimate form of right wing capitalism. Rape is related to war and hard right politics.
There are some idiots who are opposed to stereotyping. These people don’t understand human behavior. Stereotyping is in part what makes us human. Mankind is in part a herd animal.
Report thisBy ROO, November 27, 2006 at 3:26 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
reply to ROOOOOOOOOOTH:
Are you saying that, even though women have now been given the same revealing info that everyone else has in the last few years to change their minds about the Bush admin’s policies, lies and standard of ethics, that they are acting instinctually like animals to protect their young instead of actually using their brains, as men are wont to do? I bet there’s a lot of people here, men and women, who think the same thing, which is a sad reflection on the attitude towards women in this society.
Report thisAnyway, wasn’t the primary reason for the vote swing polled as ‘corruption’?
you don’t need that MISOGYNISTIC baggage. you can just let it go, ROOOOOOOOOOOOTH.
By EDUCATION w/ clear consequences, November 27, 2006 at 11:13 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
Bush can YOU spare a few trillion dollars for American Education 1-12 and HIGHER EDUCATION - college costs?
Why is it we can built bridges to NOWHERE,
stay the course with a “occupation” with NO PROGRESS other than More dead bodies as results,
give away billions in tax credit to Big Oil,
give away Billions in tax credit to drug boys,
give colleges billions for research, while our government does NOTHING to control 7 percent a year tuition hike,
be held “hostage” by drug companies controlling the market place and prices,
tax the middle income families like hell, but the rich pay very little through the loop holes,
have 10:00 am - 2pm federal workers on payroll sitting in the pentagon making 100,000K for DO NOTHING jobs,
have billions spent on news blitz for war “brainwashing” <clue YOU in -it did not work>,
Have defense contracts that are no bid,
ALL COSTING the US TAX PAYER
trillions of $$$$$$$$$$$$$ ?
If you were to actually allocate from the above your No child Left Behind might get educated in the USA. At present, it is unfunded and empty promises.
Sincerely
Concerned Mother
———————————————————————
Mr. Gates is offering tutoring lessons on education:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061113/ap_on_bi_ge/gates_education
Gates: U.S. education system needs work
By DONNA GORDON BLANKINSHIP, Associated Press Writer Mon Nov 13,
SEATTLE - Microsoft Corp. Chairman
Bill Gates said Monday that the U.S. higher education system is the envy of the world but primary and secondary schools are failing to adequately prepare students for college.
In an interview with The Associated Press, Gates said the experience of being a parent of three kids ages 10, 7 and 4 has led him to spend more time thinking about schools. Specifically, he said the U.S. education system needs higher standards, clear accountability, flexible personnel practices and innovation.
Gates, whose children are in private schools, said every state should require students to take three or four years of math and science to graduate from high school 25 states currently have such requirements. He wants states to have the power to intervene at low-performing schools.
“Real accountability means more than having goals; it also means having clear consequences for not meeting the goals,” he said in a speech earlier Monday to Washington state educators who came to hear the results of an education task force.
Gates said schools should also be able to pay the best teachers better and offer incentives to attract people with rare abilities.
“It’s astonishing to me to have a system that doesn’t allow us to pay more for someone with scarce abilities, that doesn’t allow us to pay more to reward strong performance,” he said. “That is tantamount to saying teacher talent and performance don’t matter and that’s basically saying students don’t matter.”
He also spoke of some creative school programs particularly charter schools run by private companies that should be a model for innovation in the nation’s schools.
“This nation has to do something very challenging, which is to provide a strong education to almost every student,” he said.
Gates will start working full-time in mid-2008 at the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, which seeks cures for the world’s diseases and to improve American education. He said his role at the foundation isn’t going to change that much, because he won’t be running it.
He said the foundation, which received a $1.5 billion donation from fellow multibillionaire
Report thisWarren Buffett in June, was discussing ways it could accept donations but that it was not actively seeking them.
By RBrok, November 26, 2006 at 6:41 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
Everyone should read what Flag Stone wrote. That’s some truth there. Let’s talk about what women do, the woman who rolled her car in the lake with the kids in it and said a black man kidnapped them, drown their 5 children in the tub, etc. Women aren’t angels and neither are men. No more stereotypes!
Report thisBy Guitarsandmore, November 26, 2006 at 3:38 am Link to this comment
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Dear Ellen Goodman,
Why dont you take your I hate men show to someone who cares and someone who will listen?
You have been spewing this hate mail (and thats all it is) for decades now and we can certainly do without it.
Democracy is about equality for all regardless of race, religion, color, creed, gender, sexual orientation etc. You seem to think it is all about getting even with men that you dont know how to get along with and do know how to respect.
Go get some therapy or just go away.
Report thisBy white ribbon day, November 25, 2006 at 6:21 pm Link to this comment
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Hi Ellen, thought i’d lend some support for your expressed point of view, considering the animosity it has stirred up from some commentors on this site. A lot of men seem to think they are hard done by, but that’s what happens when you wear the pants - you take responsibility for the mess. Men don’t have to wear the pants, they can choose not to, and having a choice is a lot different from having choices forced on you. (male contraception anyone? no, don’t want to mess around with that? then you have no idea what forced parenthood is, believe me).
I spent a couple of hours helping out at a stall for Amnesty International’s campaign to lift the profile of violence against women in and outside the home, and i came up against several attitudes toward the campaign:
1) men and women who were too busy for pointless efforts like this one;
2) men and women who preferred to buy flowers instead of a white ribbon; (who are the guys buying flowers for, i wonder?)
3) men who donated a few cents but refused to wear the white ribbon to show support for the campaign;
4) two men who stopped and made jokes about domestic violence, one man denigrated his wife as she stood next to him; one man subtly implied that women usually start the fights so they get what they deserve;
5) a guy who leered at me;
6)men and women who pretended not to see us;
7) several women and men who lent their support in various ways, in any way they could, (some of these people had lost friends and relatives to domestic violence).
Apparently there was also a reaction from some men who wrote to AI to complain that the TV ad for the campaign shouldn’t be shown because it could provoke suicide in some people. In the ad a father says a list of horrible things he would go through for his daughter’s sake…the tag line is [just] ‘wear a white ribbon’)
White Ribbon Day was instigated by a group of Canadian MEN, in reponse to the massacre of 14 female students at a campus in Montreal several years ago. They wanted to reach other men with the campaign, and they have reached a few, i’m sure, but they reached the hearts of a lot more women. Thanks, guys.
Lastly, if you want to understand why some women are deeply angry, despite your possibly feeling that they are placed on a pedestal and pampered like the children you think they are, then please read Phyllis Chesler’s ‘Women and Madness’. It’s an oldie but a goodie, and unfortunately, most of it still applies. Then read ‘The Scum Manifesto’ and try to figure out where Valerie Solanas is coming from, without getting angry or laughing at her. (You could try thinking of her as a fellow oppressed male?)
And then maybe you’ll lay off Ellen for trying in such a civil way to make other women feel better about themselves and their gender, despite the constant overt and subliminal negative messages this society throws at us, inside and outside the home. Just washing a man’s dishes/clothes can be enough to break you if the world has spent thirty years telling you that you’re less, that you have something missing, that you need to be governed by a patriarchal structure. Which, paradoxically, is why so many women hide at home with the chores and the kids, because even on a good day, the world outside is so damn hostile to them. But the cruel joke is, most violence against women is within the home.
We can change that. We can.
Keep fighting the good fight, Ellen.
Report thisBy on the way to the market, November 25, 2006 at 5:00 pm Link to this comment
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Flag Stone, only when women have equal access to resources and opportunities, economic or otherwise, and equal representation in government, can you argue that women generally are equally as prone to power-hunger and political crime as men. If women were, they’d be doing a lot better in politics and corporations, IMO.
Report thisBy roooth, November 25, 2006 at 3:23 pm Link to this comment
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What changed the moms is the fact that the 9 year old they rushed in a panic to pick up from school on September 11th, 2001, is now 15. That child, who can hardly remember a time when we weren’t at war, is now in high school, and, unless that mom can afford a private school for her child, the halls of that high school has military recruiters in it, looking to recruit her child. Looking to recruit her child, not to catch Osama, but to drive trucks and get blown up in Iraq - and for what?
Those recruiters have full access to all of her child’s personal school information, thanks to Bush’s “Leave No Child Behind” scam, which states that all schools must give student info to military recruiters or lose their Federal Funding.
The moms who once turned to Bush to keep their children safe have now started to realize that it is Bush who is the gravest danger to their child’s future.
Ask those moms which is more important to them; their child’s future or whether Iraq becomes a “democracy” now, or twenty years from now, or ever?
Report thisBy Siegel, November 25, 2006 at 11:26 am Link to this comment
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“Its been a long time since Americans have looked to the government with expectations.”
How sad, yet painfully true.
How long? Oh, about twenty-five years, ever since a Hollywood actor told us it was “Morning again in America”. But instead of awakening, some people were lulled to sleep. Others were plunged into nightmare.
By the time we woke up, we were impoverished and indebted. And we’ve yet to recover.
Report thisBy Kush K, November 25, 2006 at 7:26 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
I am glad the men decided to punch Bush in the face, or we would still have a Republican Senate!!
Report thisBy CJ, November 24, 2006 at 6:58 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
Dear Ellen,
How about SUV moms?
I wonder if it’s possible some Martians want both to punch the Bush Martian in the nose AND make things better—at the same time? (In place of punching, impeachment would be far more satisfying, not to mention likely conviction.) Well, perhaps not make things better, knuckle-dragging, testosterone-driven, corrupt, kick-ass, uncaring lowbrows Martians tend to be.
Unlike, say, these—not stereotypical, I surely hope, but thus far all too stereotypical of rulers of both genders—Venusians: Condi (mushroom cloud) Rice or Madeline (Half a million dead Iraqi children as a result of sanctions was a price “worth it”) Albright or Sandra Day (I concur with the Rehnquist Martians opinion re: Bush v. Gore) O’Connor or trustworthy Katherine (What election fraud?) Harris, the Rangel Martian’s idea is a pretty good one. And I do thank him since I happen to agree that IF rulers—Uh Sen. Clinton? Who STILL has never cast a wrong vote and who would be President. Rep. Harmon? Whos in possession of intelligence even Martians cant locate—absolutely MUST engage in war for dollars, more children of parents of the upper-middle and upper classes, meaning more of those nee soccer moms, and uncaring Martians, should serve in the military and not mostly children of the lower classes, members of which, after all, have far less to gain by the profits of war, especially given most dont possess investment portfolios, or 401(k) plans or IRAs, or hell, even decent-paying jobs!
Alas, Ellen, aside from perpetuating stereotypingof BOTH gendersin your poll-driven analysis, you seem not to grasp the Rangel Martians effort to make things better with implementation of a draft that would render hasty resort to war much less hasty, lest privileged children of principal beneficiaries of war be subject to things going KABOOM! in their immediate vicinity.
Thank YOU so much.
Report thisThe CJ Martian
By Flag Stone, November 24, 2006 at 9:05 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
Women who think in terms of gender as a means to a positive end need to examine their own gender. Have they forgotten their sisters like Lynn Cheney, Katherine Harris, Ann Coulter, the Quiverfull Women, the bleating christian right women, etc.
It is simplistic, backward thinking and simply wrong to frame the issues the world faces in these kind of terms. Women as a gender are far from the innocent lambs leading all of us to nirvana that pop titles and themes for articles want to lead us to think. They are both wonderful and horrid just like men. Gender does not confer goodness or worthyness of trust.
We need human solutions lead by whomever portrays the values that can advance meanningul progress for liviable sustainable lives. We do not need women’s solutions, or men’s solutions. We need human solutions formed and carried out under the banner of the human spirit, not under matriarchy or patriarchy banners.
Enough of this divisive crap in headlines.
Report thisBy G.Anderson, November 24, 2006 at 8:29 am Link to this comment
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I wonder, I just wonder who belives for a second, that Ann Coulter or Barabara Harris, or many of the thousands of Conservative Women, who support conservative political ideas, do so because of their gender.
Once and for all, could you try and understand this, there is no link between gender and politics.
There is however a link between a lack of reason, and a glib view of people that associates genitalia and their political view of things.
Yes I know neurosis, hardley mentioned anymore as a causitive factor, has lots more to do with a political view, especially when your ego needs to decorate itself with ideological ornaments, much like a christmas tree is decorated with shiny pretty bulbs.
It’s the female equivalent of holding on to your “balls”. Only those with crippeling insecurities even bother.
Report thisBy Rupaul, November 23, 2006 at 9:05 pm Link to this comment
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We definitely need more Soccer mom’s and Security moms… (right-o).
Pretty soon, those young mothers will make the suburbs PERFECT… No matter how crappy everywhere else is.
No, no… Wait. We need to stop the partisanship. We should only elect the transgender candidates.
Report thisBy Flag Stone, November 23, 2006 at 4:47 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
The headline demeaning men is kind of boring. A stereotype indeed. Unless women want the same, why lead with such simplistic drivel?
Report thisBy B, November 23, 2006 at 12:27 pm Link to this comment
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I have hoped for a long time for more women in Washington. It’s one of the few variables that may have a decent effect in politics.
However, Nancy has some serious work to do to show she is ANY different than those who have come before her. She is already playing the same old back scratching game Washington has always resorted to. Bipartisanship when the Dems. are in control and Fascism when they are not.
Part of the problem with the Dems. (besides being GOP lite) is their inability to stand up to the nastiness that has become the Republican party. Their inability to cut through spin and misrepresentations to expose the realities involved. Their inability to fight! Want an example? Watch Al Gore squash his own Presidency in the senate after the 2000 election. If ever there was a fight that needed to fought….
Nancy and her party have their work cut out for them. They must prove themselves in very difficult circumstances and during a very short interval. With continued pressure from the voters and increased voice on the part of the citizenry we MAY achieve some things this country greatly needs.
B
http://b-political.blogspot.com/
Report thisBy joe, November 23, 2006 at 8:28 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
I vote for that. I don’t care what sex they are as long as this country and the world are better off.
Report thisBy RRoth, November 23, 2006 at 6:08 am Link to this comment
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50% of the 21% who think female politicians aren’t trustworthy are men. This world is testosterone-driven. I think it’s high time for men to step aside—if they care for the future of children—and let women handle things. The most daunting task for women would then be keeping men in line. If men want a true representation of who, in the world, they are, look at the 1938 film, Alexander Nevsky. It’s embarrassing to men. Ellen, you should petition to change your name to Goodgirl. I’m thinking about a gender change.
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