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 Andy Borowitz: Dems, GOP’ers Agree to Take Two Years OffPosted on Nov 10, 2006In a landmark agreement that has raised hopes for bipartisan cooperation in the new Congress, Democrats and Republicans today agreed to take the next two years off. After a bruising battle this fall in which the two parties exchanged vicious charges, few observers expected such bitter enemies to find common ground in something as basic as their desire not to work. But at a ceremony in the Capitol this morning, incoming Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and outgoing Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.) stood side by side, vowing to dedicate the next two years to recovering from a grueling midterm election campaign. “The American people did not send us to Washington to see us fight with each other,” Rep. Pelosi said. “And so, we’re getting out of here and going on vacation.” Rep. Hastert agreed with Speaker Pelosi’s assessment, adding, “It would be great if we could work together, but not working at all is the next best thing.” Across Capitol Hill, politicians on both sides of the aisle hailed the news of the two-year hiatus, with many congressmen noting that the decision will give them an early jump on making travel reservations. “Two years from now, we will be tanned, rested and ready,” said Rep. Hastert. “Then we can roll up our sleeves and do what the American people elected us to do: make negative ads for 2008.” Elsewhere, with the USS Intrepid mired in mud and unable to budge, officials were considering a variety of options, including renaming it the USS George W. Bush. Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the new book “The Republican Playbook.” To find out more about Andy Borowitz and read his past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com. Copyright 2006 Creators Syndicate SHARE THIS TRUTHDIG ARTICLE:
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Bush the Infallible
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Jump to Comments
By Howard Wolf, November 13, 2006 at 7:29 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
All of them on vacation for 2 years? Why stop there? Make it permanent. This arrangement would be much better for the country. And cheaper for the taxpayers too!
Report thisBy Dennis D, November 13, 2006 at 6:19 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
If we could get Bush and the rest of the schmucks running this country to join Congress in taking 2 years off we might just get our country back. No, sorry what was I thinking, that would still leave the 60,000 lobbyists running it just like they do now.
Report thisBy mickeyjay31, November 13, 2006 at 5:25 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
Congress has been on vacation for a very long time. America, everyone of these people work for us, “We the People”. It’s time we started acting like bosses. It’s time we started asking questions. Like, what the hell did you do with all that money you extracted from us last year? Is there any reason why you can’t get to work on time? In fact, is there any reason why you can’t get to work? Will you stop worring about the defination of marriage and start working on a definitive answer for Global Warming. Oh, I forgot, the majority of you don’t believe in Global Warming. That’s alright, November 7 proved that most of us don’t believe in you guys! Now, get to work for the common good of this country or November 2008 could make November 2006 look like a garden party!
Report thisBy RRoth, November 12, 2006 at 1:19 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
I’ll go to my grave wondering how Americans can tolerate the behavior of their reps in D.C. We tolerate their evading the job they were sent to do and their rationale for not having done it. We tolerate their fighting amongst themselves. We tolerate their obscene, interminable campaigns. And we buy into their partisanism. These people are screwing us over and we allow them to do it. We’re like wives who can’t leave their abusive husbands. Maybe if they wacked us upside the head a few times, we’d get the message. Our government needs a big B.M.; don’t expect congress to give the enema.
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