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 Andy Borowitz: Bush Seeks Exit Strategy at MapquestPosted on Aug 11, 2006Hoping to reassure voters before the midterm elections that he is actively looking for a way to bring U.S. troops home from Iraq, President George W. Bush said today that he has been looking for an exit strategy at the popular Internet site Mapquest.com. By announcing that he was relying on Mapquest to navigate the United States’ exit from an apparent quagmire in Iraq, the president was running the risk of making his administration appear as if it had run out of ideas of its own. But in a White House press briefing this morning, Mr. Bush defended his use of what he called “the Internets,” adding that he was also hoping to find an international peacekeeping force for Lebanon at Craigslist. The president said that he began his search at Mapquest by typing in “Iraq” as the starting location and “United States of America” as the ending location. He acknowledged that the process of finding an exit strategy at the Mapquest site was complicated by the fact that many of the streets that Mapquest displays for Iraq have not existed since the United States began bombing the country in 2003. Ultimately, Mr. Bush said, the search for an exit strategy at Mapquest yielded mixed results: “The good news is that I found the most direct route from Iraq to the U.S. The bad news is that the estimated travel time is 20 years.” Elsewhere, an article in the magazine Obesity said that infants and children are more likely to be overweight, and so are readers of the magazine Obesity. Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the new book “The Republican Playbook,” to be published October 2006. To find out more about Andy Borowitz and read his past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate website, www.creators.com. SHARE THIS TRUTHDIG ARTICLE:
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Jump to Comments
By MarchDancer, August 18, 2006 at 8:44 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
RE:Comment #18372 by Reg on 8/15 at 10:01 am!
Do Not Be As Dumb As I And Click On His Link!!
FASTCLICK came up first. I of course could not get it off of my page, and then I had to go find that cookie with my spyware catcher and get rid of it. I should have known better, so shame on me for clicking on your link. Shame on you for recommending your own site that has nothing at all to do with this one and that gives you points for click-throughs.
Worst of all, it was one of those pop-over ads that comes up anyway if you’re stupid enough to click on “cancel”, which I was.
Why didn’t I wise up when I rolled over your link and saw TVNEWSLIES.com? Because I didn’t roll-over until after I’d landed on your site and came back here!! I’m shaking my head in disgust at myself. I only hope someone else reads through to my post before clicking on your link and giving you one more point for one more click-through. And of course adding a piece of spyware onto their system.
Maybe this site gets read by someone with the authority to ban you. The rest of the readers should be so lucky.
What a totally selfish and inappropriate use of this site.
Report thisBy Reg, August 15, 2006 at 9:01 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
Oh, Pulleeeez....
This is so obviously left wing, pinko, liberal, very-near-commie propaganda, trying to discredit our celebrally challenged [p]resident in the WH.
It is common knowledge that G W Bush does NOT have a computer. Mama Barbara took that away long ago as a punishment for defying his daddy by invading Iraq.
So, just stop picking on the boy. All you did was get lots of people to look up Mapquest and Craigslist. Such blatant self promotion. Do you have stock in these sites? For sure you do.
Uh...while you’re all doing a search. Go straight to mine and learn to love the man and his murderousl foibles. (look that up at dictionary.com)
SO CLICK HERE ALREADY
Report thisBy Bukko in Australia, August 12, 2006 at 6:39 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
What Andy failed to report is that the “exit strategery” (as Bush phrased it) took 20 years because the parameters he typed into MapQuest included a side-trip to Iran in 2008 with jet bombers carrying nuclear weapons, and a 15-year occupation of Saudi Arabia (lasting only until all the oil is pumped out...) Please, Andy, if you’re going to tell us the fake news, tell us the whole story.
Thank God we’re getting directions from MapQuest instead of Moses, though. You remember those 40 years, right? Makes our current venture seem like “a three-hour tour” (cue Gilligan’s Island theme, little buddy.)
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