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 Bush Outsources Town Hall Meetings to IndiaPosted on Mar 27, 2006President George W. Bush announced today that he would no longer preside over so-called town hall meetings across the United States and that those duties would now be outsourced to a “presidential customer service representative” stationed in Bangalore, India. The controversial decision to outsource town hall meetings to India was not motivated by the increasingly acrimonious tone of citizens’ questions in recent weeks, the president said. “This move is designed to free up my time for other duties, such as wiretapping the American people at random,” Mr. Bush said. At a town hall meeting today in Dayton, Ohio, attendees were surprised to be greeted not by the president but instead by a speaker box onstage leading them through a series of automated prompts. “Say ‘1’ if you want to ask about the economy, say ‘2’ if you want to ask about the war on terror, and say ‘3’ if you want to ask about the prescription drug plan,” the speaker box said. The town hall meeting was then conducted by a disembodied voice that identified itself only as “Rajiv” and attempted to answer the audience’s questions on a host of issues. CNN’s Lou Dobbs, usually an outspoken critic of outsourcing, said that the president’s decision to outsource town hall meetings to India was a rare case when outsourcing worked: “For one thing, Rajiv’s English is better than his.” Elsewhere, a prison guard who used a snarling dog to intimidate prisoners at Abu Ghraib was given a six-month sentence, and the snarling dog has been transferred to work for White House press spokesman Scott McClellan. Elsewhere: . CommentsAre you a Truthdig member yet? Login now, or register with Truthdig. Add Your Comment
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Jump to Comments
By jeannine, April 1, 2006 at 11:10 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
Who was the pinhead that thought it was a waste of time? Lord knows we have to laugh or we would go nuts. These Repub. keystone kops have screwed the world so bad, we have to laugh more…..
Report thisBy Renee, March 29, 2006 at 6:50 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
ANDY, THOUGHT I’D SHARE THIS MESSAGE WE JUST RECEIVED!
Breaking news:
Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of March 31, 2006.
The move is being made to save the President’s $400,000 yearly salary, and also a record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead the office has incurred during the last 5 years. “We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should be significant,” stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). Reynolds, with the aid of the Government Accounting Office has studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively. “We cannot expect to remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay,” Reynolds noted.
Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for sometime. Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will be assuming the office of President as of April 1, 2006. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls , thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no health coverage or other benefits.
It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India , he will be working primarily at night, when few offices of the US Government will be open. “Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the American Express call center, “stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. “I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be
President someday.”
A Congressional Spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem because Bush was not familiar with the issues either.
Report thisBy Yonk, March 29, 2006 at 1:44 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
I thought when they picked the song “It’s Hard out here for a PimP’ that it was Scott McClellan moaning.
Report thisBy Richard, March 29, 2006 at 12:11 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
This is funny? What a waste of time and energy.
Report thisBy Harold W. Hopp, March 28, 2006 at 12:38 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
Does this mean that our beloved vice-president might be outsourced to India to advise Rajiv on what to say as he replies to questions in the new format? If so it sounds great to me!
Report thisBy Druthers, March 27, 2006 at 2:54 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
I do enjoy a good laugh and in our crazy world that is almost like the end of “Some Like It Hot,”
Report thisWho knows?