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Reports

White House Jumps the Shark

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Posted on Mar 17, 2006

By Andy Borowitz

The recent woes besetting the Bush administration offer conclusive proof that the White House has finally jumped the shark, an expert in the field of jumping the shark said today.

Jumping the shark—a phrase referring to the phenomenon of a long-running television series suddenly becoming irretrievably bad—has never been used to explain the rapid deterioration of a presidency before.

But according to shark-jumping expert Jace Monteith, “The Bush administration is beginning to look like the fourth season of ‘Saved by the Bell.’ ”

Mr. Monteith points to Vice President Dick Cheney’s recent hunting accident as a sure sign the White House has jumped the shark.

“If you were reading TV Guide and it said, ‘This week, trouble ensues at the White House when the vice president shoots a man in the face,’ you’d be like, oh, man, they’re running out of ideas,” Mr. Monteith says. “What are they going to do on next week’s episode, give the ports away to Arabs?”

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Mr. Monteith thinks that recent calls by Senate Republicans for President Bush to bring “new blood” into his administration are yet another ominous sign the White House has jumped the shark.

“That’s something always done to make a show last for another season or so,” Mr. Monteith says. “I don’t know who the White House has in mind, but I hope it turns out better than Scrappy-Doo.”

Elsewhere, the Sony Corp. said that production delays for its PlayStation 3 console would mean that for the next six months computer game players would have to get a life.

www.creators.com


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By FreeDem, March 26, 2006 at 10:03 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

For me shark jumping started when he announced on Nov 3, that he had won the Election. Right then I was struck that he cared not a wit about having to ever face any sort of accountability. I wrote at that time that he had fixed the vote and that we might never have a real election again.

I deeply wish I was wrong :(

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By dolores dempsey, March 22, 2006 at 11:08 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

On Democracy now, there is a lead in, with George Bush in the background saying something like ‘and to say they were just following orders’ will be no excuse.  So if I get this right, he means everyone else except Americans have no excuse for following military orders.
How does ‘next week’s show’ start - er ah, well, our military certainly will follow orders because if they don’t, we know they are at best, no good for nothing peaceniks. A dirty word right now. Or at worst, showing themselves to be participating in treason, because, ‘if you are not for us, you are against us’.

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By Professor Smartass, March 22, 2006 at 9:51 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

What they need is a cute but annoying smart mouth kid to adopt—a Cousin Oliver.

Maybe they could grab one of the kids whose parents they killed in Iraq like the one who got his arms burned off by our air strikes too.

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By android, March 22, 2006 at 9:05 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

I suggest that in the minds of the MSM addled America, Bush jumped the shark when he nominated his own “Leather Tuscadero” character, a swooning Harriet Miers.

Meanwhile “Pinky Tuscadero”, er uh, wife Laura was touring the world telling us about fictional advances in womens rights.

Simultaneously the MSM has been feeding us “Jonie loves Chachi” world news as if everything is OK.

I feel like Ralph Malf…

Wheres the real Fonz when we need him?

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By Barbara Goetz, March 22, 2006 at 9:01 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

We need to stop talking and start a process of removal before we totally lose this “democracy”
Stop pontificating and do something.

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By Crackbaby, March 21, 2006 at 10:28 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Bush jumped the shark when Hurricane Katrina wiped out New Orleans.  Americans don’t like to see one of their own cities being devasted with refugees crying for help.  Bush’s lying incompetence and outright evil came through loud and clear.  Even the newsmodels, mediawhores and talking heads stopped looking at themselves in the camera’s reflection long enough to notice the horror of Katrina.

But not Bush.  Nope.  He was on vacation.  Just like Cheney.  Shark done just got jumped.

CB

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By James Reeves, March 21, 2006 at 1:33 pm Link to this comment
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For me the “jumping the shark” moment came when Bush declared an end to hostilities in Iraq on board the aircraft carrier. The sheer irony of the moment (Bush dressed in a flight suit) and the outrageous theatricality of the scene enhanced its absurdity. Kind of like the Zack Attack episode of Saved by the Bell when Zack’s manager/publicist/girlfriend forces him to dress like Vanilla Ice.

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By S.Gronemeyer, March 21, 2006 at 10:36 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

It is indeputably clear that George W. Bush is criminally insane and should be removed from office per the 25th ammendment.  I listened very briefly to today’s statements regarding his decision to attack Iraq.  Once again, he refers to Sept. 11th, 2001 as the reason. Hello!  Saddam Hussein was not involved in any of the attacks on the Twin Towers in New york or the attack on the Pentagon.  He may have been a ruthless dictator, but using 911 to defend Bush’s foreign policy is ridiculous.  The fact that Dick"Go F**k Yourself"Cheney is a lush,who thinks that everything is going swimmingly simply points out that they’re all a bunch of crooks. Iraq was attacked to keep the Saudis in control of the world’s oil price and by keeping it high, as has been done, puts more money in the pockets of these crooks.  When he referred to Helen Thomas’ question regarding that “Everyone thought that Saddam Hussein had ‘Weapons of Mass Destruction’” demonstrates that though there were members of the CIA who didn’t think that Hussein was a necessary target indicates that the president is acting like a dictator, a war criminal and a good many Americans have recognized this from the very beginning.  It has been a giant “Duh”.

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By MikeTheLiberal, March 21, 2006 at 10:29 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

This presidency jumped the shark when they took office.  The first thing they did was NOT release the presidential records from the Reagan White House, which had become routine to release records from the president elected twenty years before.  Oddly enough, you had many of the same players in that White House as you do now.

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By jdjones, March 19, 2006 at 8:31 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

I think the bu$h regime should continue the path they are going. With the ultimate destruction of US economy, the dismal failure of the bu$h War on Iraq, and maybe a stupid fatal attack on Iran, this will guarantee, for years to come, that the US electorate will probably not vote for anymore dumbass republikans.  Like a whole new Depression.

These idiots have sold our National Security. If the bu$h regime even remotely cared about National Security, it would have closed the US/Mexican border. Instead, the bu$h Whore House is trying to defend it’s policy of SPYING on American citizens.

The bu$h regime has been jumping the shark for quiet a while, only most Americans haven’t noticed it.

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