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Reports

It’s Enough to Give Evildoers a Bad Name

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Posted on Mar 10, 2006

By Andy Borowitz

Reacting to recent threats by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to inflict “harm and pain” on the United States in retaliation for clamping down on its nuclear program, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il today called Mr. Ahmadinejad “a total whack job.”

Kim’s comment about President Ahmadinejad surprised many in the international community, since it is highly unusual for one member of the Axis of Evil to criticize another in public.

But according to the North Korean dictator, “When Mahmoud shoots his mouth off like that he makes us all look like a bunch of nuts.”

“It’s the Axis of Evil,” Kim added, “not the Axis of Lunatics.”

Hours after Kim made his remarks, however, Osama bin Laden appeared in a new videotape to pooh-pooh any speculation about a rift between the North Korean madman and the Iranian madman.

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Mr. bin Laden, who replaced Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein in the Axis of Evil when he was toppled in 2003, said that trash-talking between Mr. Kim and Mr. Ahmadinejad was “nothing out of the ordinary” for the two evildoers.

“That’s how they roll,” Mr. bin Laden said, adding that Axis of Evil meetings often descend into insults and “yo mama” jokes.

While the Al Qaeda terror mastermind said that his two colleagues were often exasperating, he said he has no plans to leave the Axis of Evil: “Someone around here has to be the voice of reason.”

Elsewhere, Vice President Dick Cheney made his case for warrantless wiretaps today, telling reporters, “Everything else we’ve done for the past five years has been completely unwarranted.”

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Elsewhere: .

Comments

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By The Green-Dog Democrat, March 16, 2006 at 12:22 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

Look at these words and remember what they say: Andy Borowitz writes funny stuff.  Has been doing so for years.  When you see that funny stuff, commit to memory that it is political satire.  Then you will never again mistake something that you see with Andy’s byline for “fake news.” It is all really rather simple—something that even George W. Bush could probably do, were he to actually read anything, including Andy’s stuff.  As for funny stuff along with the serious stuff on truthdig, it has been thus with America’s great newspapers for more than a century—in the comic strips, of which some of the greatest have been and are political satire.

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By Jason, March 15, 2006 at 12:57 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

I agree with those that think Andy piece is really funny!  I especially enjoyed the last line about Dick Cheney and the use of the word “unwarranted”—my type of humor!

Also, I think there is a point to this piece as well.  I think it sends a message about how serious people with an evil mindset take themselves in order to have that evil mindset.  If they read the article, had a good laugh, and took themselves and others less seriously; I think they would do less evil.

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By Ritzl, March 14, 2006 at 3:11 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

Seems to me that the comments here are exaclty the kind of herd mentality that got us into war in Iraq in the first place.  All people are rational, it just depends on their motivations. 

If your motivation is to protect your country from invasion because the weakest member of the Bush-described “Axis of Evil” got it first, then by God you develop nuclear weapons.

Bad foreign policy.  Rational self-preservation from a state’s POV.

So, does KIS actually believe that Mahmoud is a “nut?”  He might.  Does KIS have nuclear weapons/delivery systems that could be launched to Seoul and Tokyo?  Absolutely.  Has he used them?  Absolutely NOT!!  Does that smack of rationality?  Absolutely YES in my view! (re: Mutually Assured Destruction, the US Cold War Defense Policy).

It is a textured view of the world that is required to navigate this difficult stretch of the river, not blanket presumptions…

L

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By Ruth MacDonald Wilson, March 13, 2006 at 4:39 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Once again, a journalist has completely, and deliberately and fiendishly miscontrued remarks made by members of the Axis of Evil….Kim did not call the Iranian President “a total whack job”, that’s just the way he pronounces “Mr Amadinejad” in North Korean..and he always leaves them laughing when he says goodbye…...ruth

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By SK, March 13, 2006 at 12:24 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

This guy just isnt funny at all.  Too bad he gets so much exposure.

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By Barbara, March 12, 2006 at 9:05 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

This is funny; don’t let anyone tell you it isn’t. And we sure do NEED funny, yes we do! Thanks, Andy.

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By LlqwgqP28t, March 12, 2006 at 6:15 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

YYwqsudbb5 8Zp6xuXftXDv 7V5xSD5h7B5Y2

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By Mike Mahr, March 12, 2006 at 12:44 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

I loved Andy’s piece.

It’s refreshing to hear some rational discourse for a change.

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By Marc Shivers, March 11, 2006 at 11:09 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Oh, come on P&J…  It’s FUNNY!

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By Don Fahrney, March 11, 2006 at 6:12 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

diddo, this is the only place I get serious news if I want funny stuff I just listen to what comes out of the White House, so please, no more stuff that at first glance I think is true or you water down your effectiveness. Thanks, Don

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By Peter, March 11, 2006 at 3:52 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

This is funny, but I’d prefer Truthdig to not post funny fake news. There are other sites that do this better. This site should stick to what it does best: analysis.

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By J, March 11, 2006 at 6:54 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

This seems like a pretty unfunny rip-off of an Onion headline.  Why would Osama have replaced Saddaam in 2003, wouldn’t he have been in the Axis earlier on?

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