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July 24, 2008
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The Not So Almighty Dollar

Talk about how the almighty have fallen. The dollar is headed downhill faster than Bode Miller on a set of rocket skis. Think nose dive. Plummetville. Plunge City. Belly Floppo Rama. Recession is such an ugly word.

Posted on Dec 2, 2007 31 COMMENTS


Bush Gives Thanks

The satirist imagines what the president might be thankful for. A compliant Congress, perhaps? A lack of impeachment proceedings? Jena’s book deal?

Posted on Nov 23, 2007 7 COMMENTS


Nuclear Two-Step

The rule is simple: The good guys get the nukes, the bad guys don’t.  And who decides who’s naughty and who’s nice? Not Santa—it’s the Decider.

Posted on Nov 18, 2007 14 COMMENTS


Hillary’s Supermarket Conundrum

Campaign-trail satire: Paper? Plastic? Both? Neither? The senator finds it’s hard to do a bit of shopping when a world of voters is looking on.

Posted on Nov 18, 2007 17 COMMENTS


A Dictator Gets Tips From an Old Pro

Bush, citing his own years of expertise, flies to Islamabad to offer wisdom on how to eliminate democracy.

Posted on Nov 11, 2007 13 COMMENTS


Hillary’s Unassailable Strategy

In a strategic masterstroke to avoid missteps, Clinton will spend the rest of her campaign encased in a soundproof glass box.

Posted on Nov 4, 2007 13 COMMENTS


Al Gore and the Blue Sky Theory

Funnyman Durst sends up the absurd criticism of Al Gore and the Nobel Prize.  Why stop at global warming when there’s plenty in the world of science and nature to deny?

Posted on Oct 21, 2007 9 COMMENTS


Our Offspring Fontanel

Oooh. He’s clever. And obviously knows exactly what he’s doing. This is all a setup, people. Has to be. Yes, I’m talking about George Bush’s veto of the State Children’s Health Insurance Program. Who but a total stoned horned ogre would do that? Maybe an ogre with something up his sleeve, eh?

Posted on Oct 17, 2007 25 COMMENTS


God’s Only Party

The creator will campaign for a third-party candidate if Rudy locks up the GOP nomination. How do we know this? Well, it seems God whispered in the ears of certain evangelical leaders.

Posted on Oct 7, 2007 29 COMMENTS


Sen. Clinton Beefs Up the Competition

In a sign of confidence befitting her status as front-runner, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has begun airing what her aides call “extremely vicious attack ads about herself.”

Posted on Oct 7, 2007 7 COMMENTS


The Global War on Toddlerism

Fresh on the heels of its reality show “Kid Nation,” in which children are sent to perform hard labor on a ranch with no adult supervision, CBS announced today that it is readying a reality show in which children will be sent to the federal detention camp at Guantanamo.

Posted on Sep 30, 2007 10 COMMENTS


Free Speech Ain’t Free. Oh, Wait a Minute. Yeah, It Is.

After all the brouhaha in New York this week, this seems like a good time to have us a little chat about free speech. Not restricted free speech. Not partial free speech. Not pseudo-, semi-, counterfeit, limited free speech. Not free speech on Wednesdays between 2 and 3 p.m. EDT.

Posted on Sep 29, 2007 38 COMMENTS


Thompson Quits to Spend More Time With His Nap

The satirist jokes that Fred Thompson, exhausted by the rigors of his weeklong campaign for the Oval Office, has called it quits.

Posted on Sep 15, 2007 5 COMMENTS


Down to Their Last Billion

The satirist reports that, desperate to protect their endangered fortunes, thousands of the nation’s leading hedge-fund managers converged on Washington today in “The Million Mercedes March.”

Posted on Sep 9, 2007 31 COMMENTS


Satire: Cheney Hides in Plain Sight

In a bold new strategy to avoid a congressional subpoena, Vice President Dick Cheney today declared himself a national monument.

Posted on Jul 7, 2007 19 COMMENTS


Andy Borowitz: Best Medicine for Flu Is a Dose of Blame

“Once state and local governments have been successfully blamed, the White House will ensure that others, such as congressional Democrats and illegal immigrants, are blamed as well.”

Posted on May 5, 2006 5 COMMENTS


In Shake-up, Bush Fires Pastry Chef

The celebrated satirist quotes Bush as saying that his kitchen staffer was “slow to act” in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina: “Basically, he was just in the kitchen baking the whole time.”

Posted on Mar 31, 2006 5 COMMENTS


Bush Outsources Town Hall Meetings to India

The political satirist quotes the president as saying the move “is designed to free up my time for other duties, such as wiretapping the American people at random.”

Posted on Mar 27, 2006 6 COMMENTS


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A Progressive Journal of News and Opinion. Editor, Robert Scheer. Publisher, Zuade Kaufman.
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