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By Marc Cooper $10.40
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By W. Bruce Cameron —
When it comes to the problem of health care costs, I don’t know why everyone doesn’t just do what I do, which is to have a sister who is a doctor.
Posted on Jul 3, 2009
9 COMMENTS
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By Bruce Cameron —
The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) recently announced that they’ve gone insane. Of course, that isn’t exactly how they worded it. What they say on their Web site, www.peta.org, is that from now on we should all refer to fish as “sea kittens.”
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Satire by Andy Borowitz —
Global markets swooned this week in reaction to photos showing that President-elect Barack Obama had lost his shirt.
Posted on Dec 28, 2008
19 COMMENTS
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Satire by Andy Borowitz —
Caroline Kennedy would like to be considered Time magazine’s Person of the Year for 2009 and has let the magazine’s editor know of her interest in the honor, aides to Ms. Kennedy confirmed this week.
Posted on Dec 22, 2008
26 COMMENTS
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Satire by Andy Borowitz —
In the first two weeks after the election, President-elect Barack Obama has broken with a tradition established over the last eight years through his controversial use of complete sentences, political observers say.
Posted on Nov 24, 2008
23 COMMENTS
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Satire by Andy Borowitz —
Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin went on the attack today, claiming that Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama has long-standing ties to The Weather Channel.
Posted on Oct 12, 2008
7 COMMENTS
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By Will Durst — I’m sorry to be the one to have to say this, Gov. Palin, but you are so earlier-this-month. It’s your partner, John McCain, who’s back in the news. And not in what you call your good way.
Posted on Sep 21, 2008
8 COMMENTS
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By Andy Borowitz — GOP vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin said today that she was “delighted” with her performance in a much-publicized ABC News interview with Charlie Gibson and gave credit to her “trusty Magic 8-Ball” for helping her come up with answers to “some darn tricky questions,” according to this satirical report.
Posted on Sep 21, 2008
14 COMMENTS
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Satire by Andy Borowitz —
In this tongue-in-cheek report, we learn that pit bull lovers don’t love Palin’s “lipstick” comment.
Posted on Sep 15, 2008
11 COMMENTS
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Satire by Andy Borowitz —
The racists of America are definitely not in the undecided column in the Obama-McCain contest, according to this tongue-in-cheek report.
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Satire by Andy Borowitz —
All that glitters is not gold, this tongue-in-cheek dispatch from the Beijing Olympics warns.
Posted on Aug 24, 2008
10 COMMENTS
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Satire by Andy Borowitz —
A member of the U.S. Olympic diving team was disqualified from competition today when it was learned that he did not have a sufficiently compelling human story line to exploit on the NBC telecast of the worldwide sporting event.
Posted on Aug 17, 2008
24 COMMENTS
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Satire by Andy Borowitz —
In a daring bid to wrench attention from his Democratic rival in the 2008 presidential race, Sen. John McCain today embarked on a historic first-ever visit to the Internet.
Posted on Jul 27, 2008
8 COMMENTS
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Satire by Andy Borowitz —
Saying he is “sympathetic to late night comedians’ struggle to find jokes to make about me,” Sen. Barack Obama today issued a list of official campaign-approved Barack Obama jokes.
Posted on Jul 20, 2008
14 COMMENTS
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Satire by Andy Borowitz —
The liberal blogosphere was aflame today with new accusations that Sen. Barack Obama is trying to win the 2008 presidential election.
Posted on Jul 13, 2008
38 COMMENTS
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Satire by Andy Borowitz —
Presumptive Republican presidential nominee John McCain unveiled details of his economic policy today, telling an audience in Ohio that if elected he would support a real-estate tax holiday for beer heiresses.
Posted on Jul 6, 2008
3 COMMENTS
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Satire by Andy Borowitz —
Republican presidential nominee John McCain officially kicked off his general election campaign today, promising to bring his race for the White House to “all 13 colonies.”
Posted on Jun 22, 2008
12 COMMENTS
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Satire by Andy Borowitz —
Mr. Bush said he was “surprised” that Mr. McClellan had written a book to criticize him because, he explained, “if you’re trying to communicate some criticism to me, a book is pretty much the last place you’d put it.”
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Satire by Andy Borowitz —
Responding to a chorus of outrage touched off by her comments about the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy, Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.) made a bold attempt at damage control today by distancing herself from herself.
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Satire by Andy Borowitz —
Just moments after former presidential candidate John Edwards endorsed Barack Obama for president, Hillary Clinton vowed to “continue the fight” for Edwards’ endorsement.
Posted on May 25, 2008
11 COMMENTS
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Satire by Andy Borowitz —
In what some Democratic Party insiders are calling a particularly ominous sign for Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign, former President Bill Clinton today became the latest superdelegate to switch from Sen. Clinton to her rival, Sen. Barack Obama.
Posted on May 18, 2008
6 COMMENTS
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Satire by Andy Borowitz —
The Democratic race for president has descended to “a level of meanness and acrimony that is damaging to American politics,” the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth said today.
Posted on Apr 27, 2008
6 COMMENTS
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Satire by Andy Borowitz —
Fearful about the prospect of human-rights protesters ruining the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, China today announced a plan to move the summer games to a remote location where no one can find them.
Posted on Apr 20, 2008
8 COMMENTS
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Satire by Andy Borowitz —
Maybe what the economy needs is for George Bush to go to Disney World ... and stay there.
Posted on Apr 14, 2008
6 COMMENTS
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By Andy Borowitz — The president has confirmed that his gutting of the Endangered Species Act is part of a broader plan to phase out the environment entirely by the time he leaves office.
Posted on Mar 30, 2008
11 COMMENTS
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