Breaking (Fox) News!

Stop the presses! Fox News has a scorching “breaking news” update! Ready for it? OK: Suspected Jonbenet killer John Mark Karr drank champagne on his flight to the United States!

From Fox News

Let us all thank providence that the editorial gatekeepers at Fox News maintained their vigil of suspected Jonbenet killer John Mark Karr to bring us this momentous piece of news.