
Borowitz Report:
In a nationally televised Fourth of July address, President George W. Bush stunned the nation by announcing that he was declaring himself independent from the United States Constitution.
Just as our forefathers threw off the horrible yoke of British rule on July 4, 1776, today I am throwing off the yoke of this truly annoying document, Mr. Bush said.
Mr. Bush said that the original copy of the Constitution would be auctioned on eBay and that proceeds from that sale would help pay for a long overdue cut in the estate tax.
Mr. Fish
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