Freddy:
Because you’re jealous of his success.

I am not a violent person, by nature. So why is it, when I look at that picture of “Helicopter” Ben, I get a desire to bury a ball peen hammer right in the middle of that chrome dome?

Bernanke is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in greenbacks.
He leadeth me beside the still economic waters.
He inflatheth my dollar.
He leadeth me in the path of fiscal righteousness in His name.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of bankruptcy,
I will fear no destitution: for thou art with me.
Thy prime rates and thy T-Notes, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my Chinese, Saudi, and Japanese enemies.
Thou anointest my head with snake oil; my accounts runneth over.

Surely solvency and low interest rates shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the House of the Fed forever.

He looks so serene,
like he has his own personal breeze,
which gently wafts over him,
no matter what the weather’s like for everybody else.