Lets see, first we had to fear Osama, because he was
the terrorist evil genius threatening the world.

Now that he’s dead, the problem is gone, right? 
Oops, no, now we are told that because Osama is dead
that we face a greater threat of terror attacks.

The DHS is a giant pork machine, taking billions of
your money in taxes, and then funneling it back out
to police departments in places that no terrorist has
ever heard of, to be used in contracts to buy this
gizmo or that gizmo from some company that gave a lot
of money to the congressperson who chairs the committee.

One thing for sure, can’t let the death of the evil
terrorist arch-enemy get in the way of that cash
flow.  So, crank up the terror alerts.

Uh, except, Al-Qaida has never done quick-hit, quick-
response type of attacks.  They plan in advance, they
recruit, they infiltrate, then they strike.  This
doesn’t happen in two days as a revenge attack for us
taking out their super-terrorist hide out.

This is comic book stuff.  And of course, the main
goal is this…  Stay very afraid, and therefore keep
the DHS and the DOD terror cash machines flowing. 
Keep those dollars flowing out of your pockets and
into theirs.

If you don’t, they might have to invent the next
great terrorist evil-supervillan to keep you afraid
and to keep the cash flowing their direction.

Danger Will Robinson…...Danger Will Robinson…

Still…. the borders remain wide open…..except when your fying.

****************

I guess this will bring back, and so quickly, the homeland
security color code alert system. Damn, don’t you think we
would know by now that when something useless ends that
when it is, you should expect it to return sooner than later.

So excuse me while I go prepare myself for the high tech attack
of al qaida on amerika when they start sending their nuclear
armed submarines and supersonic bombers over to destroy this
country, I’m still surprised that they have not yet done that.

The best thing we can do when attacked is to apologize for our original provocation and look the other way. After all, we wouldn’t want to inflame our enemies any further.

I wonder why, when we were attacked on 9/11, the attackers didn’t worry about how maybe that just might piss us off enough to retaliate in some way. Is it a coincidence that Marine and Army recruiting offices were overwhelmed right after the attack? Why shouldn’t, “attacking them is a great recruiting tool” apply to us as well as them? Why are we the only ones who worry about offending our enemies?

Breaking news! DHS has just announced that the majority of US citizens should not be too concerned about the certainty of a terrorist attack in the immediate future.

Janet Napolitano said ‘Our in-depth analysis shows that because of the almost total surveillance of all citizen activity in major cities, 24/7/365, Al Qaida will most likely choose to obliterate a few small towns and cities, rather than attack a major metropolis. So the majority of our citizens will be in little danger’.

Whew, thank goodness! And thank you, Janet, for your concern for our welfare.

Does it seem a bit odd to anyone, that now that the US has exterminated it’s Number One Enemy, it’s biggest threat, bin Laden’s assassins are warning the country to ‘Be afraid, Be very afraid’, because now that Osama is dead, US citizens are, apparently, REALLY up-****’*-creek without a paddle, with an imminent terrorist attack a virtual certainty.

Makes one wonder, was this assassination truly, carefully, thought through?

Oh good. Who’da thought of the assassination of Osama bin Laden as a US job program? But now that we have the retaliation-scare program going, we’re not only gonna need to hire more TSA molesters, but we’ll have to start a whole new category of security forces, The Watchers, to observe any strange, unusual things that might happen. (In order to get fast, immediate results, we should probably start the first Watcher programs in D.C. bordellos, and the doper parties in SoCal.)

At first, we’ll probably begin slowly, perhaps one watcher for every 100 watchees. But in a country of 300+ million people, that’s 3 million jobs, which will certainly lower our unemployment numbers. And, ‘god’ forbid, should a terrorist attack occur during The Watcher program, we may need to up it to one watcher for every 10 people. With 30 million people employed as watchers, our economic problems will be solved!

Geez, maybe we should have started assassinating Al Qaeda folks a long time ago. We may have finally stumbled upon a true Path to Prosperity.