Now, I realize crystal meth runs a neck-in-neck second place to oil refining in Alaskan domestic production, particularly in Wasilla. But, come on! Does this political lummox honestly believe she can bail out of the Alaska Governor’s Office into the 2012 Presidency the same way she’s bailed out of previous polical positions to reach the next highest office? And, if, in fact, her worn needle is hung and skipping on that groove, why hasn’t someone called her out for using Baby Trigg’s pee as her own for the drug cup? I know I can’t possibly be the only somebody who has figgered out that the baby better serves this numbskull’s ambitious political agenda in this pertinent capacity than he does by merely being the cute cuddly anti-abortion stage prop she passes around religio-fascist pro-life rallies the same way stoners pass around the Jimi Hendrix bong at Burning Man. Just think about it, his little drop would be good to go because she’s never been seen breastfeeding him. Still, the baby is always kept close by, healthy and PURE, despite the occasional spit his youngest sister uses to plaster down his little Alfalfa spike. Baby Trigg is the perfect antisceptic spicket for nice clean sterile pee with no additives, preservatives, or pollutants to taint a drop during testing.

I’m just saying, this is far too elaborate a ruse awfuly well contrived to evade federal investigators and coming prosecution for a woman who can’t tie her own shoes. Think about it, she once boasted publicly that she really could see Russia from her porch! From Wasilla! Russia!!! Oh, somebody most certainly has a chemical issue that looks crystal clear in a very methyl way to me, okay? Sarah Palin is unjustifiably and psychotically narcissistic, with great delusions of granduer and an inexplicable sense of unbridled entitlement. And, here lately, she’s been paranoid as hell, a classic symptom of crashing after crankin up way too much too often. Er, uh, that silly bi’ness of her victimization with David Letterman, followed by hourly ranting about the media hounding and badgering her?!!! Think people! This deranged lunatic’s cheese has been off her cracker, molding in the dusty nether regions under her basement sofa for a while now. Baby Trigg has definitely got to be peeing in this crackpot’s cup.

Consequently, if the hamfisted American people ineptly screw the pooch that sets off the apocalyptic chain of hellacious events that subsequently opens up the primary portal of the continuum to hell on the sidewalk at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, allowing Sarah Louise Heath Palin to ascend from its sulfurous bowels right to the Presidency of the United States of America, we damned well deserve her. However, let’s be not weary in our nationally self-inflicted wounding. For this, too, shall pass. Once satan allows this beast to initiate her terrible reign, Palin’s going to covet satan’s throne. She’s a political gold digging troll who can’t help herself. All she sees is a chance to again upgrade her station. Six months into her first term, Palin will predictably bail on the nation to start her global campaign for satan’s job. The free world is not enough for a haughty, whining, petulent, brain-dead, corporate erected, plastic Jesus worshipping shrike in stolen, albeit gloriously gorgeous Prada pumps, who arrogantly fancies herself a coy, winking match for GOD Almighty. Those meth induced delusions of granduer pompously fueling her incredulous sense of entitlement don’t permit sound reasoning to circumvent such atrocities. It will sadly bring humanity to an ungodly tragic point that could have been avoided, had we only ended all of her media coverage on Wednedsay, 05NOV08, when this overindulged opportunist became officially irrelevant.