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 British Forces: We Did Not Unleash Man-Eating BadgersPosted on Jul 12, 2007
In an account typical of some circulating in Basra, a resident told the BBC that she was attacked by a dog-sized creature with the head of a monkey. Many locals believe that such creatures (recently identified as honey badgers) have been released by the British to sow panic. The rumors have now been officially denied by UK military spokesman Maj. Mike Shearer: “We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area.”
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By Bukko in Australia, July 20, 2007 at 8:17 pm #
Badgers? We don’t need no stinkin’ badgers!
Touche! I suppose SOMEBODY had to say it!
Report thisBy LAT, July 20, 2007 at 11:58 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
Badgers? We don’t need no stinkin’ badgers!
Report thisBy WykydRed, July 14, 2007 at 3:13 pm #
Schizo,
Ah ha! Deep investigation has unveiled your heinous plot!
Found: the giant lion-eating chimps of the magic forest
If you’re going to be an Evil Overlord, never, never, EVER reveal your plans, even if you intend to kill the Hero right after you explain things to him in detail!
Report thisBy Mariam Russell, July 14, 2007 at 11:22 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
Has a delegation of women shown up yet to request more man-eating badgers? Seems to me that might solve some of their in-house problems.
come to think of it! You say E-Bay for $25.00? I’ll get right on it.
Report thisBy WykydRed, July 13, 2007 at 10:40 pm #
I’m waiting to see the counter-insurgency report on this one:
Badgers In Basra Beheaded By Ba’athists
The Giant Man-Eating Badger squad was dealt a blow today when they were unexpectedly attacked by a surge of insurgents dressed as Giant Camel Spiders who slipped past Badger Patrols and attached themselves to the undercarriages of trucks which then exploded.
Despite an outcry from Democrats over the lack of heavier exoskeletons for American troops, The Bush Administration is marking this skirmish as a victory in the push to bring Democracy to this country. “The Camel Spiders are sissy-maries who resort to these tactics because they’re done. Done like a well-grilled pheasant!” Vice President Cheney was quoted as growling earlier today.
British troops and the House of Commons are completely confused by these statements as the Badger Squad contains neither embedded American troops or reporters and no one has been able to verify this spurious account of this IED (Insect Engineered Disaster) related incident.
American reporters were attempting to verify this horrendous account, but then the White House told us to “drop the matter and just print the damn thing”. Please go to our website to see the lack of video on this story.
Report thisBy minamoto no taira, July 13, 2007 at 6:58 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
The British Army’s next move is to release into Basra the giant hedgehog named “Spiny Norman”. DINSDALE?!!!
Report thisBy Ga, July 13, 2007 at 6:38 pm #
The Ratel (Mellivora capensis), also known as the Honey Badger, is a member of the Mustelidae family. They are distributed throughout most of Africa and western and south Asian areas of Baluchistan (eastern Iran), southern Iraq, Pakistan and Rajasthan (western India).
Wikipedia
Report thisBy Ga, July 13, 2007 at 6:35 pm #
Maybe someone bought ‘em on Amazon for $25 !?!?
The top Google ad:
http://www.google.com/search?q=honey+badgers
Honey Badgers at Amazon
Report thisLow prices on honey badgers.
Qualified orders over $25 ship free
Amazon.com
By Shandooga, July 13, 2007 at 3:38 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
Well, if the army says they didn’t do it, you’d damn well better believe they did.
Report thisBy WykydRed, July 13, 2007 at 1:42 pm #
Man-eating badgers?!?!?! Well, at least the women are safe.
Knowing the military penchant for naming things, I have to wonder if the Brits actually would make up a name for releasing man-eating badgers. Probably be something like “Operation Fat Fred”.
The American side already took “Operation Over The Rainbow” for their gay bomb…
(Did anyone actually believe this story would produce serious comments?)
Report thisBy mike, July 13, 2007 at 12:09 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
It’s really a stoat no wait maybe a weasel ????
Report thisBy Schizo, July 13, 2007 at 11:35 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
They should have said “Yes, we released man-eating badgers. If they do not solve the insurgent problem, we shall next release man-raping orangutans”
Report thisBy WykydRed, July 13, 2007 at 10:16 am #
Bukko? You kill me! Honestly. Gotta run and change my panties.
Report thisBy Can of Whoop Ass, July 13, 2007 at 8:09 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
Bush is looking into releasing killer tomatos ever since he saw the movie of the same name after a couple of joints with Jeb in Flarduh, 2002.
Report this<Tee Hee>.
By nefertiti, July 13, 2007 at 7:16 am #
The reason they must have assumed that , was because of the people of Basra are NOT used to that animal with huge claws . it is not familiar to the people in that area , may have travelled a long way .
Report thisBy minamoto no taira, July 13, 2007 at 6:32 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
I would ask that one be released in the Whitehouse, but it might harm Barney and I wouldn’t want that.
Report thisBy WykydRed, July 13, 2007 at 12:03 am #
Man-eating badgers??? Aw c’mon! A badger can’t eat a man. Well, not all at once!
And the Brits need the badger heads for their sporrans! They would NEVER just give them away! Sheesh.
Badger Badger Badger
Report thisBy Bukko in Australia, July 12, 2007 at 7:32 pm #
IF THE POMS DIDN’T SET THEM LOOSE, WHERE DID THIS ONE COME FROM THAT’S ON MY LEG?!? GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!!!!!
Report thisBy QuyTran, July 12, 2007 at 6:57 pm #
They didn’t unleash man-eating badgers because they’re all of them ! Sorry.
Report this