Do you know what the Danish Study
definition of a cellphone user is?

A person who made One Call per Week
for six months.

That’s like defining a smoker as anyone
who has ever been in the room with a smoker.

Interestingly, they started with 720,000 people.

They omitted 100,000 people who moved
( while admitting they were most likely
to be heavy users, replacing their land
lines with a cellphone ).

They omitted “corporate users”.
Clearly the biggest cellphone users.

They omitted everyone AFTER 1995 when costs
went down and usage rose with ‘unlimited
calling plans ‘ and the advent of digital phones
( reputed to be more dangerous than analog ).

In 2006 we have evolved to the point where
we can remove tumors - epidemiologically.

So much cheaper than surgery,
we just ‘cut them out’ of the study.

Truthdig? ... Shyeah, right.

I hope the Danish study puts this to rest, finally. If someone gets brain cancer and happens to use a cell phone, that does NOT indicate that the phone caused the cancer. People got brain cancer long before there were cell phones. Sure, these things have to be looked at, but it’s all too common for people to jump on a bandwagon of blame… without evidence.

However, a spokesman at the Institute for Committed Quantum Healers said that cell phones infringe on their therapeutic frequency and all use must cease immediately, “This wireless chatter interferes with our treatment. Several practitioners already had to reduce their prices on Long Distance Healing.”

A prominent Quantum Therapist exclaimed, “Most of my patients are Hollywood stars. Very upscale. I live in New York. I can’t manage their celebrity-sized disorders with all this radiant clutter! And just where do these Danish researchers work anyhow? Holland?”

The FCC today announced a compromise must be reached, “We cannot allow this to escalate. If Quantum Healers can cure, they can sicken too. The White House calls for a summit where Quantum Healers, Mobile Phone Companies and Astrologers can work out their differences. The President takes this very seriously.”

“Make no mistake about it. I understand some folks want to cut and run from the problem. But we will prevail if we remain strong and stay the course,” proclaimed the President to a crowd of nearly a dozen concerned citizens. Karl Rove was present to remote control the president’s gestures.

When asked to respond, Danish researchers declared, “What?!” And the president answered, “That’s what I been tryin’ to say. These foreigners just don’t get us. Now somebody get me the French queen on a cell phone. I’ll straighten this whole thing out.”

My husband had a tumor removed from his hip the exact size of his cell phone a few years back. It then grew back a 2nd time. Matched the cell in exact shape and size.... not cancerious… but still… enough for us to switch to heat sets… no matter what any study says.