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United States of Zuckerberg

Posted on May 18, 2012

Christopher Weyant, Cagle Cartoons, The Hill

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By Marian Griffith, May 19, 2012 at 12:42 pm Link to this comment
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Dear Uncle Sam.

You may not be aware of it but an IPO on your behalf has already been done. You are now in the second stage where investment banks obtain 1pct of the shares, use a lot of bullying and ‘buy’ the rest of the shares with borrowed money. Which they saddle you with while they make away with the profit.

E.g. see the standard operating procedure of Bain Capital. Pick a smallish but essentially healthy company that has a stable share price. Arbitrarily declare your expertise that they should have an annual share value increase of 15 or 20 pct. Offer to buy sufficient shares at 10pct over the share value to get a controlling vote. Once you have that control ‘restructure’ the debts meaning that the company now has to pay you (Bain Capital) for the loans they needed to buy the shares in that company. Do some clever jiggery pokery that make it appear that the shares in the company are getting more valuable, but that somehow all involve the company acquiring yet more debt. Make sure you extract yourself from the company, with the hundred of millions of profit you made from the excessive fees and other financial tricks that the company (under your direction) extended loans for, before the company collapses under its debt at which point the government (tax) and shareholders (sucks to be not Bain Capital) and banks are stuck with the bill.

The only reason why this is legal is because laws that would make it illegal have either been stricken from the lawbooks or have been blocked in the houses of representatives.

And yes, banks are playing a much similar game with the USA government to the tune of tens of trillions of dollars. But let’s not cast any doubt nor aspersion on the Holy Banks lest we end up in the USA equivalent of the gulag…

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