Not to mention Mary and Joe evidently homeless, no doubt without insurance and barred entry to nearest hospital for that. MERRY CHRISTMAS, MARY! And OUCH, baby! Or so I’ve heard from women I’ve known.

No wonder Jesus went after money lenders! For that reason alone, if for no other. After what his ma had to endure in that stable back when? Complete with sheep and cattle for an audience. Besides Joe, who was probably to be heard yelling, “Push, honey; PUSH. THERE ya go!” After which Mary likely smacked him for being a moron.

Just a guess, but I suspect it was Joe who originated the idea that God, not Joe, himself, who was responsible. “Hey, I just met her a couple months ago; I ain’t no dad. Maybe Immaculate Conception. Ever think a that? Huh? Well? It happens! Go ahead, try to prove I’m dad. I’m outta here anyway.”

Day after Christmas, Mary and Joe (for a day or two) on the road again, along with kid. On foot since kings atop camels never thought to offer a lift, like Mary and Joe and Jesus couldn’t have used that more than gold, incense and myrrh.  What the hell IS myrrh anyway? What are you supposed to do with it. What the hell good was any of it, except the first to investors who think gold safe haven, as though in the event of total collapse they could chow down on refined ore. (I’ve no doubt they’d give it a shot, possibly thinking that by gilding their innards they might live to exploit another day.)

According to CNN, Mary and Joe and Jesus found a place—humble, needless to say. Life was, naturally, difficult, etc. Then Joe either split or croaked. Last I otherwise heard, Mary (still virgin) assumptioned, if you will; while Jesus went his way, probably in search of construction work. Guess he was big talker, and so got himself into some trouble with rulers who didn’t appreciate unpatriotic talk of getting rid of Bozo rulers (albeit, in the interest of a whole other kinda ruler), much less disturbance of the peace by overturning tables, throwing of chairs and so on. Jesus, by accounts, had something of a temper, a fact to which I can relate. If not quite to the resurrection thing, of which I’m just slightly skeptical. That is, I DOUBT IT! Dead’s usually dead; always, actually, far as I know. You know: dust to dust, gone, outta here, finito, finished, goodbye, and thanks for the memories. Same as by then long-gone old man, Joe.

But “Jesus was just alright,” and I hope he did find and marry up with Magdalene—for his sake and for hers too. I prefer a happy ending as much as the next guy.

mary and joseph had no stable to rest in cuz the inn keeper LOST his home since there were no customers/revenue to pay his bills…and all the frankinsence and myhrr was tainted with lead and imported from taiwan.the gold was painted over a lead base.the camels were all ill due to lack of habitat and global warming…..How is that for “ole mr. bullshits” LEGACY?