Happy Feet: Your Gay Penguin Romance Update

Fans of the Toronto Zoo’s same-sex penguin couple Buddy and Pedro will be dismayed to hear that the bonded pair will soon be parted and subjected to heterosexual retraining measures (paging Marcus Bachmann)—specifically, placing them in contained areas with females—in the interest of saving their species. This is a sobering bulletin from the bird world, yet we feel it can serve as an object lesson when seen through an anthropomorphic lens. Or something.  —KA

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