Drink Your Way to Peak Fitness

In a surprising new study, a fake scientist consulted by the source that at least admits it makes everything up, the Onion News Network, suggests that Americans perform the bulk of their fitness regimes while in a state of acute inebriation. However, it’s important to note that it’s also possible to engage in these healthy activities while sober.  —KA

Onion News Network:

Study: Americans Get Majority Of Exercise While Drunk