Emboldened by Castros ailing health, Stephen Colbert has concocted a plan for the invasion of Cuba, featuring cruise liners filled with obese Americans and the ғregime-destroying power of the outlet mall. ԓMy proposal is controversial, but weve invaded for less,Ҕ the host said as he pitched his vision for a post-Castro world.
Now I know our troops are tied up in Iraq, so heres my plan. We harness the regime-destroying power of tourism. First we send a fleet of Carnival cruise ships stuffed with battle-fattened, early-retired, middle-management types. There ya go. Their girth easily overpowering the frail bean-fed Cubans. Of course, thereҒs nothing American tourists like more than things they can get at home. So, in phase two, Marine choppers airdrop an outlet mall. Old NavySunglass HutŅName brands here. Maybe a Jamba Juice. Cinnabon. The Cubans will quickly become addicted to the easy American dollar. Communism will fall, and then we can finally allow Cuba to become a valuable trading partner like communist China.