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Glenn Beck Gets a (Satirical) Drubbing From The Onion

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Posted on Nov 4, 2009
Glenn Beck
theonion.com

Wow. It’s eminently clear from this pretty amazing faux news report by The Onion News Network that staffers at that hallowed humor hub really, really don’t like Fox News scenery-chewer Glenn Beck, as they’re willing to go to the very edge of acceptable humor, or perhaps past that, to make their point here.  —KA

The Onion News Network:


Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck

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By Garo, November 7, 2009 at 8:19 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Glen Beck is selling snake oil to the public,on behalf of big corporations and some people are buying it. He is in it for the money and nothing more.

What he preaches is a profound ugliness America needs not,and certainly can do much better without.

He should not be ignored but marginalized.

Keith Olberman and Rechall Maddow of MSNBC TV cable channel are doing a hell of a job in neutralizing him and his ilk,like Limbaugh,O’Reilly and the rest of the lying assholes crowd of the dicredited FIXED NEWS of Rupert Murdech.

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By DieDaily, November 6, 2009 at 6:37 pm Link to this comment

There is no evidence whatsoever that either the right
or the left are more beholden to the corporations.
That’s simply a fallacy that is excepted on faith.
Likewise there is no evidence that the one is more
fiscally conservative than the other. Similarly there
is no evidence that human rights are safer in the
hands of the right vs. the left. To whatever extent
you are caught up in the fallacy that the
governmental right vs. left (Rep vs. Dem) actually
offer us any substantive choices, you will just be
fodder for the next bait and switch. The Bushites
wouldn’t act against their man because he was their
man. Now, with not one policy substantially changed,
the Obamanites will not act against their man because
he’s theirs. The silence of the peace movement
(ostensibly “left”...but that’s a joke) is DEAFENING.
And it’s pathetic. The sooner people realize that
Obama and Bush are legislatively indistinguishable
the sooner we can scrap this circus which some of us
still stubbornly believe is democratic. There is
nothing to choose between a corporatocracy this hides
behind left cover and one that hides behind right.
It’s time to get substantive. Burn Obamas left cover
down and all that’s left is another corporate pawn.

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By truedigger3, November 6, 2009 at 4:17 pm Link to this comment

I wrote:
“Remember, they represent big money/business and the common folks.” and I meant to write:
“Remember, they represent big money/business and NOT the common folks.

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By truedigger3, November 6, 2009 at 4:05 pm Link to this comment

DaveZx3 wrote:
“If that is true, why are the common folks not flocking to the calm, cool, smart and political savvy lefties in power.  They certainly have enough chance to plead their case.”
____________________________________________________

Those in power might be political savvies but definitely they are not lefties but rigth of center group who is beholden to big money/business exactly as was Bush and his administration. Is there any REAL CHANGE between Bush and Obama?
But the rabble rousers aka Limbaugh, Glenn Beck etc etc have convinced the common folks that their problems stem from the lefties governing them and not from big money/business and those in power whether they are Democrats or Republican encourage such message. Remember, they represent big money/business and the common folks.
And also remember what I said about ignorance and political naivete!!

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By DieDaily, November 6, 2009 at 2:41 pm Link to this comment

Glen Beck is right wing? Oh man, you’ll believe
anything. He’s not right wing. He’s just wing. His
singular function is to coopt the freedom and
constitutional movements. Ignoring his is precisely the
thing to do.

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By Anarcissie, November 6, 2009 at 1:57 pm Link to this comment

Taste so bad, it was depressing.

I am curious as to why supposed leftists are so fascinated with the likes of Beck, Palin and Limbaugh.  I suppose it might be a kind of pornography.

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By Virginia777, November 6, 2009 at 12:52 pm Link to this comment

to DaveZx3:

NO, no and No!

Ignore Glenn Beck? this insane throw-back to the worst of American right-wing extremism who has risen to unbelievable heights of prominence and influence?

To ignore Glenn Beck is suicide.

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By Larry Frankeln, November 6, 2009 at 9:33 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Note to right wing dumbasses - the girl is not actually dead.
This clip was PARODY (albeit in bad taste).

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By DaveZx3, November 6, 2009 at 8:49 am Link to this comment

truedigger3, November 5 at 11:51 pm #

“There is a lot of anger, frustration, ignorance and political naivete among the common folks”.

If that is true, why are the common folks not flocking to the calm, cool, smart and political savvy lefties in power.  They certainly have enough chance to plead their case. 

Could it possibly be true that two or three boneheads, as you call them (Palin, Beck and Limbaugh) could possibly have more power than the party that rules the Senate, House and Executive?
And also has more media firepower. 

How can a few rabble rousers have such power over a whole government?  I am just asking? 

I would just ignore them, and they will go away.  The constant attention is what amplifies their message.

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By truedigger3, November 5, 2009 at 7:51 pm Link to this comment

There is a lot of anger, frustration, ignorance and political naivete among the common folks and Glenn Beck is exploiting all that to further the interests not of the common folks but the interests of his masters in big money/business.
He and Rush Limbaugh et al are rabble rousers and are doing a lot of damgae to the interests of the common folks by channeling their anger and frustration against their very own iterests.

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By CaptRon, November 5, 2009 at 5:28 pm Link to this comment

Not too much different then the people who show up at Obama functions with guns or hanging nooses with Beck approval. I don’t like it either way but it does show that people get more upset about it when it’s about a tasteless white man then the black President of the United States.

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By Jamie, November 5, 2009 at 4:14 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Wishing someone dead says more about the people that hate Glenn Beck that wrote that completely tasteless satire than it does about Glenn Beck.
They are the ones that come out looking mean-spirited, over the top and fanatical. Ironically, Glenn would never say that of his greatest detractors. That makes him the better man in this case.
By the way, so you know I’m not a kool aide drinker, I thought it was almost as bad that someone at a “Tea party” movement had a sign that said “Bury ObamaCare with Kennedy”. That’s tasteless and crass as well. But just not quite as bad as wishing someone dead.

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By DaveZx3, November 5, 2009 at 2:59 pm Link to this comment

Beck is a showman and hatchet man. 

Beck is to conservative politics what Dennis Rodman was to the Detroit Pistons in their championship years.  The hatchet man extraordinaire.  He can hack away and get all the foul calls, and while the refs are keeping their eyes on him every second, the other guys are doing even worse damage and scoring points all over the place. 

You can’t put all your focus on the hatchet man.  By putting so much attention on Beck, they play right into him.  America loves the bad-boy, and always will, so everytime he is criticized by Team-Obama, his viewership goes up 10 points.

It’s not enough we get crooked politicians, but do we have to get incompetent ones as well.  If they (Team O) knew anything at all, they would just ignore Beck.  If he has nothing legitimate to add, he will disappear quickly.  Limbaugh the same, and Palin.  Palin will probably end up getting elected for all the press she gets, day in and day out.  What is it about her that makes the press go gah, gah, like she is some kind of candidate or something? 

Focusing on these people every second is making them ultra-rich and getting them a lot of viewers and support.  Does anyone on the left know anything about these things?

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By Night-Gaunt, November 5, 2009 at 2:21 pm Link to this comment

You left out the strong corporate and religious component too. The worship of militarism and the state and depredation of those not in synch with their point of view. All of those who are not are enemies of the state. He constant portraying them as such. Calling them “Marxists, Maoists & socialists” and making it all a mishmash to be condemned. which he does. For all of his talk who does he have on his shows? Reich wingers mostly and he doesn’t take them to task either.

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By DaveZx3, November 5, 2009 at 1:43 pm Link to this comment

Mary Ann McNeely, November 5 at 2:57 pm #

Glenn Beck represents perfectly the Republican party.  He is fascist; he is homicidal; he is the future.

I am not a big Beck fan, but I have read his books to fins out what makes him tick.

He is not Republican, he is definitely not fascist, and definitely not homicidal, and he is not the future, he is the present. 

It’s ok to rip someone on TD, but do you have anything to back up the fascist and homicidal ideas? 

I am using a traditional definition of fascism: 

“Facism exalts nation and often race above the individual and stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation, and forcible suppression of opposition”.

Maybe there is a new meaning that I have not learned about yeet.

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By ExtrovertinCloset, November 5, 2009 at 1:31 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

This is a riot!  And Glenn Beck deserves it just as much as any idiot that follows him.

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By Paula, November 5, 2009 at 12:01 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Is this a joke?  Surely the dead girl deserves respect.  This only lowers all of us in character or descent behavior.

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By Mary Ann McNeely, November 5, 2009 at 10:57 am Link to this comment

Glenn Beck represents perfectly the Republican party.  He is fascist; he is homicidal; he is the future.  To think that Beck, or someone very much like him, cannot be elected president is to forget about George “Wake Up America” Bush, a man whose eight years in power with Dick Chaingang paved the way for the American Freikorps, aka the Republicans and their very junior partners, the Democrats, to finally destroy what little democracy is left in the United States. They will then usher in an age of Christian fascism armed to the eyebrows with thermonuclear weapons and an extensive network of death camps where people who read websites like this one will die horribly.  Think that’s harebrained?  So did the Germans in 1932.

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By andrew, November 5, 2009 at 10:46 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

i would be careful of people who quote nietzsche. but yes, this is in quite bad taste, though i did laugh the first time

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By the tshirt doctor, November 5, 2009 at 9:46 am Link to this comment

does it make me evil if i just want him to go away, WITH a hangnail?  i can deal with my being that evil.

i laughed good and loud, too.

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By Night-Gaunt, November 5, 2009 at 9:27 am Link to this comment

This has gone into not only into bad taste territory but defamation of the poor woman who was killed. I do not want to have the same tactics or worse used against those who wish ill on us. I do not want Glenn Beck injured or dead. Nor should any one else. You do not want to become them as Nietzsche warned against.

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By Hulk2008, November 5, 2009 at 8:03 am Link to this comment

I wish Mr. Beck no ill - no injury, no embarrassment, not even a hangnail. 

But why can’t he just quietly GO AWAY ????

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By Hulk2008, November 5, 2009 at 7:53 am Link to this comment

There was a time when people who actively worked to overturn a US election were labeled as “seditious”.

Mr. Beck should provide the same level of documentation to prove he is not seditious as he says he requires for proof of the President’s birth.

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By triangle try, November 5, 2009 at 7:01 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

This is a tad bit mean..

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By Lakota, November 5, 2009 at 6:40 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Tasteless.  We should have higher standards than this. 
We jump to action and cry foul when others made
comments about candidate Obama and president Obama. 
Now we rejoice and poke fun at the same kind of
tasteless humor.  Its fine not to like the man, its
fine to believe he’s dangerous, and its fine to oppose
him on a higher ground.

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By M.B.S.S., November 5, 2009 at 2:10 am Link to this comment

i like the fliers at the memorial with glenn beck’s face on them that read:  “it should have been you.”

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By DieDaily, November 4, 2009 at 10:40 pm Link to this comment

Does Glenn Beck deserve this sort of terrible,
tasteless, and absolutely merciless attack. Oh yes he
does, oh yes he does indeed. Must say, I laughed good
and loud, yes I did, oh yes I did…

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By mcthorogood, November 4, 2009 at 7:50 pm Link to this comment

Did Glenn Beck rape and murder a girl in 1990?  I assume Glenn Beck did not rape and murder a young girl in 1990, although I haven’t yet seen proof that he didn’t.

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