Spiritgirl, I believe these heterosexuals are jealous of gay couples. They see two wage-earners generally without the expense of children (this is changing, I know) and they think, “damn, those guys each have great cars, nicer clothing, better food, better lives than we do, just because we have kids and they don’t.” And then they decide any legislation to provide civil rights is “special” because they would gladly change sides, if it wasn’t for the sex.

And straight people may also fail to see the other side which we often hide to protect our dignity: higher rates of HIV, discrimination, psychological trauma. We are very different people: in my experience heteros often believe gays are very different in how we have sex, but are otherwise like them. Actually the opposite is much closer to the truth; we enjoy better friendships but less fidelity among couples.

Lesbian couples with children are less threatening to those fearful that somebody is having a better time; their poverty (women make less thn men even today) and children make them less threatening. Besides, lesbians are generally nesters and monogymous.

Hope these explanations help, Spiritgirl. Yours is an excellent yet difficult question to answer.

Stepping around the Facade created by the Religious Right, it’s about damn time.
Allowing the Religious Right to call the shots in this debate has been short sighted and counterproductive.
Who gives a shit what a legal agreement is called.States recognize various types of partnership everyday- and the courts dissolve various types of partnerships at about the same rate. The Religious wingnuts went after the definition of ‘marriage’ because they could not get restrictions on other forms of legally binding agreements.
The left must stop allowing the Right to define the terms and perimeters of every debate.

Spirit girl, there is no logical answer to that question.  There is no reason why gay couples should not be provided the opportunity to enter the institution of marrige. 

But, just as in politics, we have people in this country that don’t understand how the system was supposed to work.  Or they ignore it.  For example, forget about church and state.  They have bought the idea that we are a Christian nation. 

They believe homosexuality is wrong, so although gay marriage will not affect them, if they vote for it - then they are voting to condone what they consider ‘actions’ (as opposed to a sexual orientation) that are wrong. 

To the rest of us they are trying to impose their baseless beliefs on all of society, which is repugnant to anyone who understands and believes in a separation of church and state. 

Religion is the opiate of the masses, and the masses in the US are on one big trip.  Religion is the root of all evil in the world, and that is why so much suffering an unfairness exists in this country and around the globe.

What I would really like to know is if a gay couple wants to be acknowledged as “together”, why do so many people have a problem with that?  I mean, I’ve asked my Mama whose been married forever “how does gay marriage affect her?”  she told me that whenever she figures that one out she will let me know! 

Outside of the legal “rights” that go along with “traditional marriage” (you know: social security, healthcare decisions, etc.) - why are so many people up in arms, most of you won’t be in their houses so why is it such a big deal!  The LGBT community last I checked are human beings (if you cut them, they will bleed red too), and why can’t they be allowed to have the same equality as heterosexuals?  I’d just really appreciate it if someone could give me an answer.

fwdpost, you raise the interesting point that the majority of the population are not living in a traditional family unit. Besides the LGBT community, there are many unmarried heterosexual couples. Among the married, some are separated and others are extended, with many generations living under the same roof. This is especially true in areas with expensive housing, such as NYC and SF. Then there are the single-parent households.

These arrangements are normal and need to be acknowledged and accommodated. Clearly the people are years ahead of “their” government.

Does it seem odd that the media is fighting for marriage rights to apply to gay partners - health insurance, etc. - but ignoring the extension of those same benefits to children over 25, brothers and sisters, parents and grandparents, all related and living in the same house. The proclaiming of civil rights is hypocrisy if you only want it applied to your circumstance, and ignore everyone else.