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November 11, 2009
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‘Colbert Report’: The Dow of Stephen

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Posted on Apr 2, 2009
Colbert
comedycentral.com

What’s with all these fancy economic algorithms that supposedly explain what goes down (or up) on Wall Street but are unintelligible to the average American? Why not make a new model that everyone can understand—and that’s always on the up-and-up? Stephen Colbert gives it a crack in this clip from his April 1 show.

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By Woodsmack, April 6 at 12:50 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

“Statistics can be used to prove anything, 14% of all people know that.” - Homer Simpson

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By johnnyfarout, April 3 at 12:04 pm #

After watching this I’m left with one of the conundrums of numeracy — “numbers don’t lie”. At least standing by themselves they don’t. But once hitched up to equations and statistical fractals the numbers take on dark little secrets. In the magical world of bankers and derivative traders numbers create exponents like angels and saints sprout halos. What was once an innocent little 1, with a bit a mumbo jumbo (a couplet of words we hear more and more of on TV nowadays when referencing financials) and some good honest hard work, can ascend upwards in miraculous compounding ad infinitum. Suddenly it eschews beer and starts holding its pinky up when ordering more champagne. In the jungle of dog eat dog, numbers are used as shields as well as weapons and we weak humans are defenseless against extreme explanations. Some numbers explain everything, while others can’t even explain themselves. If trillions and trillions are everywhere how come nobody has any? Of course this isn’t the numbers’ fault — the fault lies within the flesh and blood beings who worship them. We have nothing to fear but fear itself…how many times I’ve said that to myself. I wish I had a nickel for each time…I’d be rich! Which is the point isn’t it? Work hard, grind your nose on the stone, remain sin free, and stay the virgin god made you. What could be simpler? So off we go happily to the salt mine if we have any sense. The guys and gals at the top of the exponential powers that be have it good; all others please take a number and stand behind the yellow rubber line.

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