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Talking Empty Heads

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Posted on Sep 27, 2007
pundits

Surely TV news pundits are influential in shaping public opinion, but do they really know anything? The Onion satirizes expert opinion by asking about the situation in Nigeria, as opposed to, say, Hillary’s neckline.

Watch it:

Situation In Nigeria Seems Pretty Complex

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By new affiliate programs, October 23, 2007 at 10:02 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

for a minute there, I thought this was for real...lol

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By John Borowski, October 1, 2007 at 10:39 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

Strictly on supposition, I perceive a bad smell from the direction of Phoenix AZ Airport. Where I live the wind usually blows in from the west. Did Carol Ann Gothbaum accidentally strangle herself? Is this still another fraud being perpetrated on the American public? My opinion is only a moron would believe the story coming from AZ.

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By Debra Istvanik-Strotman, September 30, 2007 at 7:53 pm #

“Rage” said it all. I personally read the section of the paper “Opinions of readers,” before I read anything else. Yes, most of us may misspell a few words, not write with the precision of a polished professional, but whether I agree or disagree with the opinions of the writer I have no doubt he or she honestly believes what each one writes. These are well thought out, these people forego the $2.00 words for down to earth facts and opinions. I want facts and honesty not lies and slanted opinions from the media.

Great piece by Rage.

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By Jacks, September 29, 2007 at 6:03 pm #

How sad that this is the reality.

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By rage, September 29, 2007 at 8:49 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

LOL!

Nailed it! Sarah Silverman is so dedicated to the Lord’s work. I just love her. God bless her!!!

The sad truth is this very same Onion infotainment panel discussion airs regularly on CNN, Headline News, Faux Noise, MS NBC, all the networks, and 24-hours daily on righty and religious talk radio. With no challenging inspection or investigative verification of any these goods we’re nightly sold by 2nd rate actors, we constantly mistake and accept such reporting as shrewd informed journalism.

The greater shame is our addictive dependence on this utter waste of our precious time. The infotainment industry has us by the short and curlies because we are dutiful supplicants of their televised idolatry. America dedicates more time to view news broadcasts than to spending time with family, until you’re a Republican snagged in a scandal about to go to prison. Practically every American boasts a trusted news idol.

Behind the curtain of network wizardry though, these glamorous pompous pampered teleprompter reading oafs are doing more than they should once their helmets have been removed when they tie their own shoes. Because we call this journalism, I would really like to call these twerps idiot savants, because they do correctly pronounce the difficult words spelled out phonetically on the teleprompter. The thing is, though, idiot savants are actually gifted geniuses with a cerebral tic. Contemporary TV news correspondents, in frighteningly stark contrast, however, are simply afflictive idiots. Yes, a dubious self-important collective of egotistic, entitled, overindulged, inept, opinionated, dull, UNINFORMED, deceitful, disingenuous, obtuse, terse, badly trained, poorly educated, well coiffed, nicely dressed, usually physically attractive adult-phase heathers who just weren’t spanked nearly enough by their cognitively emaciated sibling parents. These worthless halfwits are little more than the coyly presentable shylocks tasked to grift us on behalf of corporations and advertisers who compensate them ridiculously well to facilitate the retail of humanities’ mortal soul and the resources of the raped planet. News anchors are to the military industrial corporate complex what the greeter is to Walmart. The only real difference is the greeter wasn’t boobescently cute enough that sixth year of college to be invited to Motel 6 by some low-level infotainment executive for that final interview for an internship. These twits couldn’t find the definition of journalism in a dictionary if their lives depended on it.

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By Outraged, September 27, 2007 at 8:25 pm #

Definitely! I agree, and well disagree of course also. Because one can never say specifically, in any matter which has definite contrasts, in relation to another..which of course could be clearly indiscernable as regards the issue. Yes.

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