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Colbert on ‘the War on Error’

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Posted on Aug 11, 2007
Colbert
alternet.org

As savvy spin-maestro Stephen Colbert knows, rhetoric is key to any successful political campaign—ideally, it would involve simple, catchy, even alliterative phrases (e.g. “freedom fries”) that fit easily on your average bumper sticker.  So, it’s no surprise that the pseudo-pundit doesn’t cotton to the Democratic presidential candidates’ complex takes on “the war on terror.”

Watch the clip here.

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By GW=MCHammered, August 15, 2007 at 11:28 pm Link to this comment
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Al-gebra!

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

“Al-gebra is a problem for us,” Gonzales said. “They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like ‘x’ and ‘y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns’, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, ‘There are three sides to every triangle’.”

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.” White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.

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