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Chertoff’s Colon Our Last Defense?

Posted on Jul 16, 2007

The “gut” speaks through homeland security czar Michael Chertoff.

Keith Olbermann rips homeland security czar Michael Chertoff a new, er,  orifice, humorously parsing out what Bush’s master of disaster could have been thinking when he announced he had a “gut feeling” a terror attack might be imminent despite having ““no credible intelligence,” in the words of a back-pedaling White House.

“I have pondered this supreme expression of diminished expectations for parts of three days now. I have concluded that there are only five possible explanations for Mr. Chertoff’s remarkable revelations about his transcendently important counterterrorism stomach,” writes the host of MSNBC’s “Countdown”: “bureaucratic self-protection, political manipulation of the worst kind, the dropping of opaque hints, a gaffe backfilled by an ‘instant report,’ or the complete disintegration of our counterterror effort.”

“You have reduced yourself to the status of a hunch-driven clown, and it’s probably time you turned your task over to somebody who represents the brain and not the gut, certainly to somebody who does not, as you do now, represent that other part of the anatomy—the one through which the body disposes of what the stomach doesn’t want.”

Watch the video


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By kevin99999, July 20, 2007 at 7:02 am Link to this comment
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I would think that most people by now know that at the moment the U.S. government is being run scam artists, con men, and outright criminals.

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By felicity, July 17, 2007 at 10:05 am Link to this comment

Chertoff is aiming for a promotion.  Afterall, it’s no secret that the better one’s mastery of scatological repartee the more likely one will be admired, even revered in the Bush/Rove/Cheney administration.  Besides, Chertoff’s remark dove-tails quite nicely with America’s image abroad.

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By 911truthdotorg, July 17, 2007 at 10:00 am Link to this comment

I urge you all to read Paul Craig Roberts’ article:

He was Asst Sec of the Treasury under Reagan rts-impeach-now-or-face.html

Google videos: 9/11 Press for Truth, Loose Change 2nd Edition, America: Freedom to Fascism

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By nonsequitor, July 17, 2007 at 7:37 am Link to this comment

with his head so far up his posterior, his colon was probably in plain view.

nothing like running a country based on gut feeling, but that seems to be the trend in the u.s. today.

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By kevin99999, July 17, 2007 at 7:30 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

When you have political party of morons (i.e. GOP), liars, scammers, and criminals running the government, this is the type of political manipulation you get, among other things.

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By Jkoch, July 17, 2007 at 6:15 am Link to this comment
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When Karl phones with the latest poll reports, Chertoff’s bowel twitches and we get a new non-specific terror warning: bowel movement expected, not known where or when, just watch where you step.

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By cyrena, July 16, 2007 at 8:55 pm Link to this comment

I saw this video a couple of days ago…I was excellent. I trust my own bad colon better than I trust Chetoff’s.

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By rage, July 16, 2007 at 6:49 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

My gut feeling is that Chertoff needs more brand in his diet. Will his spastic colon actually save us from terrorism? I think not. Is America’s national colon made spastic by Bush-Chertoff incompetence? Every single day of the Bush Administration!

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By QuyTran, July 16, 2007 at 5:05 pm Link to this comment

“My gut feeling” is that Chertoff himsel is “Dirtiest
Terrorist Of All Time”.

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