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‘Daily Show’: Rapture Watch 2006

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Posted on Aug 4, 2006
Daily Show covers the coverage of the rapture

Jon Stewart had a roundup Thursday of a bizarre recent trend: Armageddon “news” coverage.  Behold this montage of shame, in which every TV news outlet from “Good Morning America” to MSNBC seemed to make an appearance.  CNN, in its quest for fact, checked something called a “rapture index,” while Fox News demanded a rapture timetable, prompting Stewart to comment, “that’s the timetable Fox News is demanding we have.  ‘Mr. President, when will our troops withdraw to the hill of Megiddo to fight the army of Satan?  I want answers!’ ” It’s comforting to know that while that guy with the sign in front of Costco has to take a break every now and then, the cable news networks can get the word out about the end of the world 24 hours a day.

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By abomination desolation, March 25, 2007 at 10:35 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

The wrath of God comes shortly after the son of perdition has been revealed

http://jesus-survival.com/son-of-perdition-revealed.htm

Report this

By Bride, November 20, 2006 at 9:21 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

For those who dont believe in God.. check out Romans 18-20:
For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world, His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse.

Remember the phrase guys: so that they are without excuse.
- you have no excuse not to believe. wink

We all know that you can feel God wherever you are, so.. I’ll let you figure that out for yourself. If you wanna know more about the Bible, email me. I can help you. grin

elns143 at yahoo dot com

ciao! grin

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By proverbs31, August 18, 2006 at 8:45 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

The Bible says zero on (pre trib) secret rapture, its just some happy go lucky THEORY that wack job Darby made up.  He even doubted his own THEORY.  I have a problem with Christians getting upset over evolution because it is a theory and it is being taught as fact well the pre trib secret rapture is a theory and churches teach it as fact.  Matthew 24, Luke 17, Jesus tells you what will happen in end times.  Satan has planted roots in the churches of America, dispensationalism is a form of it and it is a prefect example of taking away from the Bible.  Darby called it reinventing the truth.  Peter said something along the lines of ignorant and unstable people will distort the truth....

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By Secret Rapture, August 14, 2006 at 7:32 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

My inaugural address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I
have raptured out billions!

At:  http://www.angelfire.com/crazy/spaceman/inaugural.html (Read online)
My site:  http://www.angelfire.com/crazy/spaceman
Your jaw will drop!

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By proverbs31, August 10, 2006 at 4:02 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

The doctrine of a secret rapture was first conceived by John Nelson Darby of the Plymouth Brethren in 1827. Darby, known as the father of dispensationalism, invented the doctrine claiming there were not one, but two “second comings.” This teaching was immediately challenged as unbiblical by other members of the Brethren. Samuel P. Tregelles, a noted biblical scholar, rejected Darby’s new interpretation as the “height of speculative nonsense.” So tenuous was Darby’s rapture theory that he had lingering doubts about it as late as 1843, and possibly 1845. Another member of the Plymouth Brethren, B.W. Newton, disputed Darby’s new doctrine claiming such a conclusion was only possible if one declared certain passages to be “renounced as not properly ours.”

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By proverbs31, August 10, 2006 at 3:41 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Dispensational Theology

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By Rapture Believer, August 10, 2006 at 2:08 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

for those who mock the rapture ought to read Titus 2:13 which says:

Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus

Report this

By Jeremiah, August 9, 2006 at 1:12 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

They say to wood, ‘You are my father,’
and to stone, ‘You gave me birth.’
They have turned their backs to me
and not their faces;
yet when they are in trouble, they say,
‘Come and save us!’

HMMMMM.....

Report this

By Isaiah, August 9, 2006 at 10:12 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

“All of you who live anywhere on earth, turn to me and be saved. I am God. There is no other God. I have made a promise with an oath in my own name. I have spoken with complete honesty.
I will not take back a single word. I said,
‘EVERYONE’S knee will bow down to me.
‘EVERYONE’S mouth will take an oath in my name.’
They will say, ‘The Lord always does what is right. Only he can make us strong.’ “
All those who have been angry with the Lord will come to him and they will be put to shame.

Report this

By GW=MCHammered, August 8, 2006 at 9:42 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

God sits in Heaven when a scientist prays to Him, “Lord, we don’t need you anymore. Science has finally figured out a way to create life from Nothing. We can now do what you did in the beginning.”

“Is that so? Explain...” replies God.

“Well,” says the scientist, “we can take dirt and form it into the likeness of You and breathe life into it, thus creating man.”

“Interesting. Show me,” commands God.

So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil.

“Oh no, no, no...” interrupts God, “Get your own dirt.”

.
.
.

The scientist looks up and replies, “But how do I know you are the one true God? The creator of this world and of all earthly things?”

“You must BELIEVE, accept me on FAITH,” answers God.

“Accept you on faith? But if there exists a Creator, and he gave me the ability to REASON, I expect PROOF that you are my God,” explains the scientist.

God instructs, “Only faith is required - Proof is not. For I am your one true almighty, omnipresent, all capable God. There are NO other Gods before me!”

The scientist paces in thought then responds, “Yet I have the power of individual thought… one might say, the GOD-GIVEN ABILITY TO REASON. This sets man apart from all other creatures. Is this correct?”

“As is it written,” bellows God.

“So please answer my rational prayer,” contends the scientist. “If you are the ONE all-powerful, all-capable God, can you create a rock that you cannot lift?”

“Why, of course,” shouts God. “I can do anything!”

The scientist squints reckoning, “But if there exists a rock that you cannot lift, and an all-powerful God can lift anything, then your reasoning fails. Therefore, you cannot be the one-true God. And if you could lift such a rock, then you could not create such a rock, and again, you could not be the one true God.”

God calls out from the Heavens, “Your soul holds no FAITH and thus you shalt burn in Hell throughout ALL eternity!”

“Nah-uh, don’t think so,” asserts the scientist. “For if there is one true God, my so-called Creator, he would demand from me no less than using my God-given ability to reason. And I
just reasoned that you are just another of Man’s imagined, ‘Parental’ gods. And you too, shall fade away with time, like all of man’s mythic Gods before.”

.
.
.

“Credo Consolans. More than any other, the reason people believe weird things is because they want to. It feels good. It is comforting. It is consoling.”

“As a culture we seem to have trouble distinguishing science from pseudoscience, history from pseudohistory, and sense from nonsense.
~both Dr. Michael Shermer

AND FINALLY,

“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
~Douglas Adams

Report this

By Paul, August 8, 2006 at 1:53 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin, but now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished.

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By GW=MCHammered, August 8, 2006 at 10:24 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

Don’t religioners make you feel like wearing a shirt that reads “Go Be Ye Perfect Then Come Back And Preach”?

Or how about “Nothing To Save Here… I Sold My Soul On Ebay”?

Seems they must forever sacrifice something to their gods. But why must it always come at others expense?

“I often think it’s a pity that Noah and his party didn’t miss the boat.”
-Mark Twain

“Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.”
-Mark Twain

“But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?”
-Mark Twain

Report this

By cosmick, August 8, 2006 at 4:52 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

Hey christspeaker!  We’re not worried about what jesus is going to do because, when he gets here, we’re going to get superman to come over and kick the shit out of him!  Rock on Kal-El!

Report this

By proverbs31, August 7, 2006 at 8:22 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

You have it all wrong, not all Christians believe in pre trib rapture or Bush (most dont, there are a lot of brainwashed people)its a stereotype.  The best thing to do is read the Bible from start to finish and come up with your own conclusions not other peoples, the sad part is most have never read it and talk trash about it, rather funny. I guess once you see a lot of transformed lives from people accepting Christ you see things so differently.  He was all about love, grace, mercy.  Another thing the people on TBN are not every day Christians.  I will pray for all of you.  I love you in Christ!

Report this

By WARped, August 7, 2006 at 4:05 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

60 million Americans believe this shit.  That’s real scary.  Definitely a self-fulfilling prophesy, and the most wacked out is John Hagee.  Go to jhm.org and see what I mean.  He is peaching death and cheerleading a war against Iran.  Theses are the people who call the Islamic people fighting the invaders and occupiers “Islamo-fascists.” They don’t know the meaning of Fascist.  And they have the ear of our president.  It’s no wonder Bush can still smile.  He thinks he’s bringing on the Rapture.  GET READY TO ASSUME THE POSITION AND KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE !

Report this

By PEO, August 7, 2006 at 2:40 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

It seems that those christians that are waiting for the rapture are not interested in peace. That will be their downfall. There are Christians that have a more realistic view of worldly circumstances, and that has to do with critical thinking skills. Use your brain people!

Report this

By Sankara Saranam, August 6, 2006 at 8:59 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Paul believed the coming of Jesus was imminent, not something that was going to happen in one hundred, one thousand, or two thousand years. His expectation is on record in the Bible, and no one can refute that. It is not open to interpretation. That is what he believed, and he was wrong. But he was right to believe something like that. Think of it: If this singular event in history - the Son of God dying for humanity (actually, it was not so singular since humans believed, for thousands of years before Paul plagiarized Mithraism and wrote his story of Jesus, that Mithra died for the sins of his believers) - really took place, then the world would have to end soon. There would be no point for time and this world to continue, which is why every morning that the sun rises is a spit in the face of Paulinism, and by extension Christianity. Paul’s Christianity should have died the day Paul died, after he lived a life where Jesus did not come and end the world. But while his beliefs were dead wrong, what’s lived on is simply a centralized institution (the Church) that became useful to place political power in the hands of the few, keep millions of people in ignorance, create widespread divisiveness in human beings, and spread fear of sin and guilt. As I’ve written elsewhere, a man that can forgive sin will invent sin.

The narrowness of time frames is a reflection of the narrowness of one’s sense of self. In a matter of speaking, if you believe the world is going to end soon, it means the boundaries of your sense of self are narrow, and have a very limiting beginning and end. Outside that narrow boundary of your self is the majority of the human race, with whom you are unable to identify.

The narrow religious identity also means a skewed sense of ethics, or right and wrong. What is virtue to the narrow self may be criminal to the expansive self. A suicide bomber has a narrow self. Someone who would kill or take pleasure in people fighting and dying, all to bring the “End Times” closer, has a narrow self.

In response to a writer who felt that the tolerance of the liberal left is a sham:

I hope so. Tolerance is not a virtue. Only the narrow self believes such a thing. In fact, tolerance is unethical.

If my son mixed in the company of children whose parents were under the spell of dangerous belief systems that narrow the self, narrow the time frames, and narrow the ethical sensibility, I would not tolerate it. If I did, I would be irresponsible. And since we are all responsible for everyone, it is unethical to tolerate beliefs that foster narrow minds and hearts. Neither is it so very ethical to tolerate people. The truly ethical will identify with people, as part of their own self, not merely tolerate them, and certianly not tolerate their ignorance anymore than they would tolerate the errors in thinking in their own minds.

Hence, the more a person identifies with believers of Christian doctrine as simply human beings whose reasoning faculty is thwarted when it comes to properly challenging and undermining their beliefs and religious identity, the more that person will not tolerate the spread of beliefs, and serve to spread education (meaning the right challenging questions) concerning religious history, the epistemic limits of revelatory mythology, and the ontological failures of the Christian world view in fostering expnsive human beings that can fully identify with the human race.

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By winterfire6, August 6, 2006 at 11:44 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

How Paula Zahn, and others, can sit there and report on this idiocy with a straight face is beyond me.

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By Chabuka, August 6, 2006 at 9:10 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

If these nuts are so sure that there is a God, and so sure that they alone are righteous and on the path to heaven.....I suggest they just kill themselves and go meet their “Maker”...leave the rest of us out of it

Report this

By Chris M, August 5, 2006 at 6:53 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

After seeing this clip it is no wonder that the Daily Show and Colbert Report are so popular. The American news networks are asking to be made fun of. I can’t believe the goofball news networks actual ran with the “end of days” stories. The idiot weatherman on CNN was funny too. Sounds like he wants a role in an episode of Star Trek or Dr. Who instead of working for CNN.
Edward R. Murrow is rolling in his grave.

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By Dorian, August 5, 2006 at 7:21 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

Well done Daily Show.
What’s unfunny unfortunately is the number of people who really do believe in rapture, etc.
People who run our country hold this stuff close to their hearts.
Scary.

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By Will, August 5, 2006 at 5:44 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

Nice Christspeaker! Jesus would be so proud of your loving and compassionate attitude. If he does come back, he won’t be taking you with him!

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By sally from Phils, August 5, 2006 at 12:07 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

hehehe. super funny! Americans are such idiots! well, except for John Stewart and the people behind this blog (if you are americans) smile

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By Preston, August 4, 2006 at 10:25 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Jon Stewart isn’t that funny.

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By Collin, August 4, 2006 at 6:06 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Wow!  All this religious bigotry justified for political brownie points.  Not only is the current Left anti-semitic, but it’s proving to be very anti-Christian.

The Tolerance doctrine is nothing but hypocrisy.

Collin

http://www.evangelicalperspective.blogspot.com

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By Christspeaker, August 4, 2006 at 5:08 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

hey guys,
jon stewart is an idiot, and to be quite frank, besides everything else, when jesus does come and take all those faithful, let me know how it smells after you jackoffs take your thumbs out of your asses, good luck with the end… cuz i wont be here...remember...duck and cover!

Report this

By hollywood lister, August 4, 2006 at 4:41 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

who’s the priest in the video?

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By relayer, August 4, 2006 at 12:49 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

I have been publishing ‘Apocalypse Now’ for over 14 years, both on the web and, previously as a private USENET circulation. ‘The War Diaries’ (http:///www.myspace.com/relayer1) continue this examination.

A-N has been misinterpreted as a Christian cheerleading section, an anti-government rant and media apophia. It is none of those things.

What A-N has been tracking and reporting is the rightward-fundamentalist rise of proto-fascism and accompanying Darwinian devolution of politics based on the selfishness and narrowminded viewpoint of people who cannot accept a paradigm change.

It’s nice to see that some people are finally awakening to this creeping menace; unfortunately, unless they get off their duff and actually do something about it, these trends will continue.

You don’t have to be a prophet to predict the predictable. Unfortunately, the modern media outlets have neither the courage nor the guts to address this problem, despite their daily catalog of the ongoing and escalating political and natural disasters.

A-N’s bottom line: there are people working to bring about “The Rapture,” whether in mistaken or cynical subscription to the the Biblical model. The rise of fundamentalism reflects a deep despair and helplessness at the modern condition of this planet and the people inhabiting it.

The subconscious yearning for something to “break it up” will continue to grow and manifest in various ways unless the people of this planet recognize that they are inhabiting a system and it is participatory; they do not stand above it by divine right.

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By Torr Melling, August 4, 2006 at 11:25 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

thank ‘god’ for jon stewart!

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By Lisa, August 4, 2006 at 8:35 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

Kudos, Jon!  ABC has been doing some ‘subtle’ bible thumping coverage for some time now.  Maybe it’s a new bulemic tool; makes me want to hurl quicker than using my finger!  The only trepadition I have with all of this is that humans are prone to self-fulfilling prophecy.  If Jesus really does come galloping in from the clouds I’ll be the first to say, “oops, I was wrong”, but I feel much safer using reason, logic, and critical thinking skills verses blindly embracing mythology as fact.  Unfortunately those who have the big guns prefer magical thinking.

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By Broiler, August 4, 2006 at 5:26 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

I’m checking my “rupture index”.  I think I pulled my groin laughing.  When will they stop the schmooz?  Let’s hope someone with a hand in the news comes to their senses and puts Jean Dixon on air so we can know whether or not the end is near!  (With this amount of news excrement I’m betting some end is near!)

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By COGNITOREX, August 4, 2006 at 4:55 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

WAR-MAGEDDDON & WARM-AGEDDON
These are new “W” words describing Mr Bush’s foreign policy and planet husbandry endeavors.

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