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Colbert to Suskind: We Need a ‘Zero Percent Doctrine’

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Posted on Jul 13, 2006
The Colbert Report
From Comedy Central

Stephen Colbert tells author Ron Suskind that Vice President Cheney’s so-called “One Percent Doctrine”—whereby a one percent chance of terrorists obtaining WMDs must be treated as a certainty—is “soft on terror.”

  • Colbert: “One percent? Shouldn’t it be a zero percent doctrine? I mean even if there’s no chance that someone’s a threat to the United States, and they just look at us funny, shouldn’t we just—[beats a fist into his palm]—tag ‘em?”
  • Watch it:

    Partial transcript:

    Suskind:

    If there’s a one percent chance that WMDs have been given to terrorists, [Cheney] says to folks inside the white house, we need to treat it as a certainty. Not in our analysis, but in our response. It’s not about evidence. It frees us from the evidentiary burdens that have been, well, guiding us for a long time.

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    Colbert:

    No offense to the V.P., but isn’t that soft on terror? One percent? Shouldn’t it be a zero percent doctrine? I mean even if there’s NO chance that someone’s a threat to the United States, and they just look at us funny, shouldn’t we just—[beats a fist into his palm]—tag ‘em?

    The problem with evidence is that it doesn’t always support your opinion…That’s what the Vice President was protecting us from…If we waited we wouldn’t have invaded…we would have tripped over our preparedness.


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    By joey, July 29, 2006 at 4:08 pm Link to this comment
    (Unregistered commenter)

    The Chaney Chent

    To keep in spirit with the Bush administration I propose a all new kind of campaign. Bush has fought science and literacy at every step. He has fought logic, grammar and the law.  Every proposal Cheney has made has violated some law somewhere.  The mass recording violated the N.S.A. wire tapping law. The toucher violated the international human rights law . The secret prisons violated both the international and domestic laws.  Now his let the slaughter continue also violates the law of human rights.

    Lets all try a mind control experiment.  On the first Tuesday
    of every month at noon eastern everyone speak forcefully and repeat “Fuck you mister Chaney” three times. If this works we can change the name next month .

    Report this

    By Bukko in Australia, July 15, 2006 at 8:52 pm Link to this comment
    (Unregistered commenter)

    John, it begs to be said: The chance is about 1 percent…

    One could spend hours detailing the many large and small ways the elections are being gamed…but it comes down to this: we need a fair vote for this country to survive.  Any chance of that happening?

    Report this

    By KEVIN SCHMIDT, STERLING VA, July 15, 2006 at 8:39 pm Link to this comment
    (Unregistered commenter)

    Ann Coulter advocats the execution of Bush/Cheney critics, Democrats and New York Times employees because she thinks they are traitors to America.

    But didn’t Florida recently catch her committing voter fraud? That makes her a greater threat to Democracy than Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein!

    We should take her advice and give her what she wants. Let’s release that shock and awe on American traitors, but let’s start with her first!

    Ken Blackwell in Ohio can be the next traitor in line.

    Report this

    By Kathleen Grasso Andersen, July 15, 2006 at 8:51 am Link to this comment
    (Unregistered commenter)

    It’s time for American citizens to start applying that One Percent Doctrine to our elected officials, particularly, to Das Bush and Darth VEEP. 

    Surely if Bill Clinton’s Mid Life Monica Mess was an impeachable offense, then this Cardboard Cowboy and his crooked mouthed mentor should be sent to Gitmo, pronto, for their lies and war profiteering, blood money to Halliburton. I can think of many other things which are worse than marital infidelity that this current occupier of the Oval Office has done.

    BushCo needs to go, now.

    Report this

    By John Cahill, July 14, 2006 at 2:54 pm Link to this comment
    (Unregistered commenter)

    I have to agree with the previous comment.  The single most important issue in front of our nation, despite an unimaginably grim list of alternatives at present, is its inability to rectify the current imbalances due to unfair voting. 

    One could spend hours detailing the many large and small ways the elections are being gamed…but it comes down to this: we need a fair vote for this country to survive.  Any chance of that happening?

    Report this

    By winterfire6, July 14, 2006 at 7:47 am Link to this comment
    (Unregistered commenter)

    Actually, I think I like this “One Percent Doctrine” thingy.

    As a matter of fact, I believe it is a doctrine we, the people, should adopt when it comes to election theft.

    If there is even a 1% chance that an election, anywhere, has been stolen or manipulated with the usual means of easily hacked voting machine software, minority vote suppression by putting four voting machines in minority precincts of 100,000 or Choice Point voter scrubbing lists, disinformation by a political party (ex.: you will be arrested if you show up at the polls with unpaid parking tickets) we really have no choice but to unleash shock and awe that will make the bombing of Iraq look like child’s play.

    After all, election tampering is a far greater threat to Democracy than Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein all rolled into one.

    Report this
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