Stephen Colbert employs possibly the finest writers of satire in the country, but during his show he simply read Delay’s exit speech word for word. Priceless. Delay’s life is a sad vicious satire.

I am so frustrated!!!
When will we get to see this thug behind bars??!!!

I’m sick of watching these criminals in all levels of our government still running around smirking!

In one of his “farewell” speeches he also stated that “liberals ruin everything.”  Here is what this crooked republican lapdog meant:

What he is really saying is: “Your majesty, were it not for the liberals we:”

Would not have gotten bogged down in Iraq…

Could have completed our illegal telephone tapping program without the people knowing it…

Would not have converted a budget surplus into a record budget deficit…

Would not have increased the national debt to epic proportions, with you being the principal contributor…

Would not have had to leak information to protect your butt…

Would not have converted a most trusted nation into the most distrusted nation…

Would not have had to trample on the constitution with all those signing statements…

Could have completed all our illegal programs despite that “goddamned piece of paper”...

And, your majesty, well….there is more, but…..

Your majesty, most of this probably goes over your head, but maybe, just maybe, some of it gets past your crown and into your limited understanding, but count on me to stay in contact from my new cell as time goes on.

Your loyal, rabid right wing, subject, Tom

Tom - Are you crazy? The reason for your resignation is that YOU wanted more - more money, more privileges, more power. 

We liberals, we want less.  We want less government telling us what to do with our bodies and our beliefs, less government snooping into our telephone calls and fewer sleezy Bible-thumpin’ hypocrites like you taking money from lobbyists that are out to screw regular Americans like us.

Would our country be a better place today if Tom DeLAY had never been born?

Delay is really goiing out in the classiest way possible. How did this bum ever get elected in the first place???????????

Tom DeLay shoulda taken some lessons from another Texas Politico-Magnate named Lyndon Baines Johnson. Master of The Senate who until he got in The White House, knew just when and where to stop. But as always power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. It’s an old story.

Thank you. Now go to jail. Go directly to jail.  Do not pass GO, do not collect another friggin’ dollar.