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God Is Dead

Posted on Jan 11, 2012
Mr. Fish

By Mr. Fish

(Page 3)

“Because he’s not Batman,” I said, cupping my hands in front of the heating vents, thankful for all the hot air. “Besides, I don’t even think he knew that I fell in. He was practically on this side of the river by the time I stepped onto the ice.” We were on the Belmont Hills side of the river and her window was rolled down and she was calling God every half block or so but nobody was answering her.

“Why weren’t you holding his fucking leash, Dwayne?” she wanted to know, suddenly outraged.

“I told you!” I said. “He pulled the fucking thing out of my hand when he went after the geese!” My nose started to bleed again and I wiped it with the back of my hand. “I’m not worried,” I said, thinking about the moment when I jumped into the jagged inky hole that God disappeared into maybe 10 feet from the raised riverbank without making a splash. I thought about how the temperature cut me wide open with a pain as true as fire and how the frozen current immediately tried to push me sideways and drag me under the ice and carry me into deeper water. “Our address is on his collar,” I said. “Somebody will find him.” Sawyer didn’t say anything. “He’ll be back,” I said, “you’ll see.”

“God!” she hollered out the window.

I thought about how long I stood at the water’s edge on the Manayunk side of the river unable to breath with something like a bell going off inside my nervous system. I thought about God’s dead body being carried silently along under the ice and I wondered if his heart was broken when he drowned and if he knew what was happening to him. I wondered if the water burned into his lungs and he knew that his life was over, if anybody ever knows for sure. I wondered if he was sad to go without me letting him smell my shirt for the very last time or having me rub his head while his brain exploded into seizures. I wondered if he yelped in the dark under the water for me to know where he was. I knew where he was.

“And you’re sure he made it all the way to the other side?” asked Sawyer.

“The other side?” I said.

“Into Belmont Hills,” she said. “You said you think he made it into Belmont Hills.”

“Oh, yeah,” I said. “I doubt that he tried to double back across the ice. I stood there long enough to see the snow turn to rain and no animal is dumb enough to walk across a frozen river in the rain, especially a dog. Oh, look,” I said, pointing at the sky above the trees. “Canadian geese.”

We didn’t even have enough time to skid. The cat was orange and wore a sparkly collar and we felt it get crushed under our tires, the vibration of the slaughter shuttering up through the floorboards and into the soles of our shoes like voodoo. Sawyer pulled over and let her forehead fall against the steering wheel. She wanted to get out of the car and walk back to see if the cat was dead. I told her that it was dead. I told her that she shouldn’t feel bad, saying that she couldn’t have done anything about stopping. I told her that it was an accident. I told her that we should go home now. She said that she wanted to go clear the cat off the road. I asked her why.

“What if the cat’s family finds her body splattered across the road?” she asked.

“Then they should be thankful that they will never have to wonder what happened to her,” I said. Sawyer turned and looked at me with tears running down her cheeks. “They will be thankful,” I told her. She rolled up her window and we went home, feeling strangely like saviors, having delivered the agony of truth to the family of a cat. Both Gods were dead now, which they’d be forever and ever, and with so much sadness rushing through my chest all at once I felt the wishbone inside my breast finally snap in half, reminding me of how lucky I was. After all, besides getting to keep both pieces, I got to feel the pain.

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Night-Gaunt's avatar

By Night-Gaunt, January 17, 2012 at 2:31 pm Link to this comment

Lucy I find nothing “complicated” about Mr. Fish‘s writing. It flowed nicely and I could picture it all happening. A mark of someone who knows how to right above the 4th grade level. Have you thought of improving your reading comprehension? Like every thing your intellect must be exercised too as mine is. I am still learning. One can never stop learning or learn too much.

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By Lucy, January 16, 2012 at 10:10 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Ugh. Stick to cartoons. Your writing is too
complicated. You can be clever and astute without being
so pretentiously wordy.

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James M. Martin's avatar

By James M. Martin, January 14, 2012 at 5:25 pm Link to this comment

Mr. Fish, my God, man, what a revelation about God being dog spelled backward.  Did you know that Aleister Crowley’s “Book of the Law” asks if God is to live in a dog.  Moreover, and this is critical, Robert Anton Wilson points out that all of the modern (King James on) versions of the Bible are frauds: the original was in Koine Greek.  In Koine, there were no punctuation marks, such that the sentence “God is now here” could just as easily be “God is Nowhere.”

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By heterochromatic, January 14, 2012 at 9:58 am Link to this comment

EZ—- wherever you find yourself you’ll still be one fit to serve in heaven

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EmileZ's avatar

By EmileZ, January 14, 2012 at 4:04 am Link to this comment

Ahhh… brings back memories of Indian Queen Lane and bicycling along the West River Drive path to Center City in the morning.

The cherry blossoms in the spring… the geese… the leaves blowing about in autumn…

Sorry, but I didn’t make it much past page one. It became unsexy and though I love animals, I am a cat person.

Pondering dogs freaks me out and I am already freaked out enough.

Yikes!!! I just briefly scrolled up on page three and scanned a glimpse of horror.

Safer down here in comment hell.

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By heterochromatic, January 13, 2012 at 4:24 pm Link to this comment

how could anyone not love a story built around a
heterochromatic God dog?

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Night-Gaunt's avatar

By Night-Gaunt, January 13, 2012 at 3:00 pm Link to this comment

Better work on that short attention span. You will need to be able to read more than a paragraph.I found it well written even if it all wasn’t to my taste. But you can see I can dislike the subject matter and still see its merits.

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By ferrellms, January 13, 2012 at 6:58 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Boy, this is just terrible stuff, and so
long, too. I did get thru a paragraph or
two, though.

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By acmerecords, January 12, 2012 at 4:59 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

“His love affair with life was either an expression of the robust and confident compatibility he had with existence itself, or it was just another demonstration of dimwitted glee”

it only humans who can’t decide if ‘their’ dogs and cats are as ‘smart’ as they are.  In fact, I warned my cat just yesterday to be careful & give wide berth to my ‘dimwitted glee’

“i know a guy who had a dog, he was that guy who started that war, fucking dumbass” g.singlaub

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By joseph bodden, January 12, 2012 at 11:56 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

It’s a lesson too late for the learning,
Made of sand, made of sand;
In the wink of an eye my soul is turning,
In your hand, in your hand.

Are you goin’ away with no word of farewell?
Will there be not a trace left behind?
I could have loved you better, I didn’t mean to be
You know that thought was the never in my mind.

The line between life and death is the wink of an
eye. Sometimes we only know the measure of our love
by the pain we feel when it is gone.
For REBOOT BODDEN, bff, “He was a good boy, no
greater praise was ever needed, although much more
was deserved. (Walker Hound)

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By Sulphalon, January 12, 2012 at 11:23 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

I want the last ten minutes of my life back.

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Leefeller's avatar

By Leefeller, January 12, 2012 at 8:51 am Link to this comment

Gathered from this long short story, is Mr. Fish is somewhat of a hornydog and probably should not be allowed around animals,..... possibly then God would not be dead and we would all be happier, including God!

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By rumblingspire, January 12, 2012 at 8:15 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

“by giving meaning to the moment and knowing that the biggest increment of time that either one of us is able to occupy at any given time is a moment, was I not merely bringing enlightenment to the smallest increment of infinity and therefore bringing enlightenment to the whole universe by proxy?”

goodness.  i often imagine such in bed with the cat pushing her face into my beard while i touch and name her body parts.
yet it is the last moment that often occupies my thoughts.  the moment i expire.  will i be able to stage it and thus gain a measure of control and Finally give meaning.

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DonSchneider's avatar

By DonSchneider, January 12, 2012 at 5:33 am Link to this comment

christian96…your moniker fits ! sorry for your lack of comprehension. Point is,
there is no point to be made !

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DonSchneider's avatar

By DonSchneider, January 12, 2012 at 5:31 am Link to this comment

to christian96 yep ! your moniker fits !  Nicely written piece. Not every piece of
literature need be a herculean effort full of life changing revelation !  get a life !

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By christian96, January 12, 2012 at 4:43 am Link to this comment

As I read this piece of nothingness I thought how
it represented people in academia and Washington.
Someone trying to show off their vocabulary without
anything of substenance to say.  What a waste of

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By heterochromatic, January 11, 2012 at 8:22 pm Link to this comment

Okasis,  sometimes I despair for humanity.  your comment is one of those times.
maybe if you re-read the thing ......

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By Okasis, January 11, 2012 at 7:39 pm Link to this comment

NightGaunt, What brought about Karry Rose’s statement is her belief that God, as all dogs do, deserves more from the self proclaimed Masters of the Universe than they ever get.

Mr Fish spent his time worrying about his piss hard-on, his cold hands, and his head ache, when he should have been paying attention to the really important things in his life - Like wonderful animals who give love and loyalty always, and often get shit in return.

And then, like a real MAN, he lies to his girl rather than except his responsibility.

Both she and God deserved better.

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By Night-Gaunt, January 11, 2012 at 6:25 pm Link to this comment

Poor dog, shit happens an sometimes you die. What crawled up your ass Kerryrose? A strange and vile sentiment from you.

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By heterochromatic, January 11, 2012 at 5:58 pm Link to this comment

—-”  IT may still be around, but just can’t
communicate any longer with his

bah, humbug.

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By balkas, January 11, 2012 at 4:48 pm Link to this comment

don’t forget [ok, maybe you never knew?] that god only spoke hebrew; jesus spoke
only aramaic. but since hebrews and arameans vanished, so did their languages.
and god, not using these languages, simply forgotten them.
so, s/he or IT may still be around, but just can’t communicate any longer with his

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By balkas, January 11, 2012 at 4:33 pm Link to this comment

even as a very poor goddologist i testify that god is dead. thanks

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By heterochromatic, January 11, 2012 at 3:52 pm Link to this comment

again he proves that he writes a hell of a lot better than that other thing he futzes
around with.

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By gerard, January 11, 2012 at 1:27 pm Link to this comment

Something we all need:

  “...phenomenal peripheral vision and instinctual distrust of monkeys wearing clothes and corrective lenses ...”

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By Aaron Ortiz, January 11, 2012 at 11:34 am Link to this comment

I’ve noticed Mr. Fish often constructs straw man
arguments and displays his considerable talents of
mockery against them…but what’s the point of doing
that? Proving he is smart? He achieves that, but why
bother? We all admire his talent already, without the
disdain toward God.

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By kerryrose, January 11, 2012 at 10:38 am Link to this comment

Poor God.  Fuck you.

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