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Arts and Culture

Borgnine Blushes, but He’s On to Something

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Posted on Aug 15, 2008

The 91-year-old actor sent the cast of “Fox and Friends” into a juvenile tizzy this week when he revealed the key to his longevity: “I masturbate a lot.” Don’t snicker. The health benefits of autoeroticism have been well documented, yet modesty prevents many adults from discussing such matters.

Fox and Friends:

Here’s a slightly dated report from the BBC:

Men could reduce their risk of developing prostate cancer through regular masturbation, researchers suggest.

They say cancer-causing chemicals could build up in the prostate if men do not ejaculate regularly.

And they say sexual intercourse may not have the same protective effect because of the possibility of contracting a sexually transmitted infection, which could increase men’s cancer risk.

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By Thomas Billis, August 21, 2008 at 8:54 pm #

At 91 Ernie starts in September and finishes sometime around Christmas.It is his Christmas present to himself.Strongest hands in the business.Mother catches her kid masturbating and screams"if you keep doing that you will go blind”.
Thre kid answers"no ma, I am just going to keep doing it until I need glasses.”

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By Andy, August 19, 2008 at 5:01 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

As the old adage has it, If you want something done right, do it yourself.

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By JimM, August 18, 2008 at 11:35 pm #

I knew a guy who once vowed to marry his hand as his only reliable partner.
I also knew an old guy who said if you wanted something hot in bed, then fill a hot water bottle and sleep om that.

Jim

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By Tom Coleman, August 18, 2008 at 9:50 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Borgnine is one of the all time great ones, still crazy after all these years (“Marty,” “McHale’s Navy” and the G.O.A.T.—apologies to LL Cool J, another great one in the making—“The Wild Bunch”).  He’s always good for a great big belly laugh, possibly his secret to longevity, which he generously shares with everyone. I went to his book signing a couple of weeks ago in Pasadena, with a very long line of fans waiting to see him.  Ernie could not have been more patient, gracious, considerate and laugh out loud funny from beginning to end.  Oh, and the book is a LOL great read to.

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By Dr. Knowitall, PhD, PhD, August 18, 2008 at 12:34 pm #

This is a conspiracy trumped up by the irreligious left to get men to defy Jesus’ teaching that it is a sin to dash against the stone and I don’t like it one little bit. 

So, for the first 5 or 10 years of your life, you’ve got your folks telling you what to do with your twinkie, from 10 to 20, you’ve got “celibate” clergy and the church telling you what to do with your twinkie and, as if that weren’t enough to sort out, MSM and the Irregilious Left throw this curve. 

The upshot is, my exhaustive studies have demonstrated,  a condition I’ve named TTS or Twisted Twinkie Syndrome.  If you suffer from TTS, try Twisted Off.  Guaranteed to help you get it straight or your money back.

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By msgmi, August 18, 2008 at 12:18 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Ernest Borgnine at 91 is a man of pleasure. It’s too bad that O’Reilly was not the one to interview him. Imagine having Borgnine being stroked by O’Reilly’s quest for ratings.

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By T Conway, August 18, 2008 at 10:50 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

Imagine that, Commander McHale firing his torpedoes!

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By Kashilinus, August 18, 2008 at 10:47 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

Life begins at…... Good God, what have I done?

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By tomack, August 18, 2008 at 8:49 am #

Good old Dirty Ernie. Love that guy.

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By Louise, August 17, 2008 at 9:50 am #

When I was a kid, parents tried to keep their little boys from masturbating by warning them to do so would make them go blind.

Did it work? I have no idea. But I couldn’t help but notice one day when a “forever hard-on” drug was being advertised, one of the “warnings” regarding side-effects was, “may cause blindness.”

Just an observation.

Personally I don’t care one way or the other how folks “maintain” their health, or get their jolly’s. But I do worry sometimes about dirty old men on Viagra ... driving their GM “boats” in heavy traffic. Lord knows, they have enough trouble staying in their lane without drug enhancement!

Come to think of it, if ejaculation is good for you, doesn’t that mean that a forever hard-on could be bad?

Curious minds want to know.

Just kidding, so please don’t let me know. smile

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By RightWing, August 17, 2008 at 9:02 am #

you might have disagreed with one of the regulars,and put on the black list,for speaking out.

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By Dark Lady, August 16, 2008 at 2:12 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

and why bother to try to ‘Digg’ anything; when my registered sign in and password are constantly rejected?!
Please, if anyone else has similar problems I’d like to know how and if they were solved.

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By darklady, August 16, 2008 at 1:28 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

if one is registered here. I still have to comment as a guest.  Why?

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By Dark Lady, August 16, 2008 at 1:25 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

They had to ask!

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By slumlord, August 16, 2008 at 12:57 pm #

i love how he turns to steve douchey because.. well, you just know steve has lots of ‘alone time.’

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By Ed Harges, August 16, 2008 at 10:00 am #

So it’s true what they say about a gap-toothed smile!

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By Chris, August 15, 2008 at 11:03 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Maybe the blonde bimbo will help out Mr. Borgnine in his “daily ritual” : )

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By mrlNC, August 15, 2008 at 5:56 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Hell, I should live forever!!!

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By Ed Harges, August 15, 2008 at 4:32 pm #

Glad to know I’m doing SOMETHING right!

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By GW=MCHammered, August 15, 2008 at 3:07 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Finally. Some useful news on Fox! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go sing it to the hills… so to speak.

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By Libra96, August 15, 2008 at 1:44 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Say goodbye to guilt… a hairy palm means you’re staying healthy.. smile

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By rage, August 15, 2008 at 11:53 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

‘It’ has benefits!

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By Hemi*, August 15, 2008 at 10:00 am #

“That’s me in the corner, losing my religion!”
REM

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